How to Marry a Corporation

Thanks to the Supreme Court and their Citizen's United decision - corporations in America are considered people - but it didn't used to be like this. The first modern corporations began forming the 1880's - and after realizing the power these corporations had on society and the danger they could pose to our democracy - Congress passed the Tillman Act in 1907 - which outlawed corporations from donating to politicians. But - fast forward a century - and corporations are now donating to politicians without any limits - because the Supreme Court decided to blow up the sensibility of the Tillman Act, and replace it with the mind-boggling idea that corporations are people, and money is speech. And - if corporations are people - and we follow that logic to its final conclusion - then corporations should be allowed to marry - right? Well - King County, Washington - the county that Seattle is in - followed the Citizen's United logic and showed how absurd it is - and they issued a marriage license for a living, breathing woman to marry an inanimate, all-powerful corporation. In a beautiful and heartfelt wedding ceremony in King County, Washington - Ms. Angela Marie Vogel married Corporate Person - a Washington State Corporation. The wedding ceremony was attended by roughly 100 guests - and was presided over by Pastor Rich Lang - who presided over a brilliant ceremony that was also brilliant political theatre. Pastor Lang told the crowd that, "For Angela, dear, sweet victim of ...

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