CONSERVATIVE REAL AMERICAN SOCIALIST-FREE PURITY PLEDGE
Socialism; as defined by the Oxford American Dictionary;A political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole.
I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:
I will testify to the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.
I will testify to the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.
I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls while exercising my inalienable right to not know what any of these words actually mean.
I will not complain about any economic condition affecting my personal and/or financial well being that has resulted from any banking or investment activity that was unregulated by the Federal Government or committed in an environment of non-enforcement of existing Federal regulation including, but not limited to, reduction or loss of pension, loss of 401k or stock value, increase in interest payment, loss of real estate investment value, etc.
I will not take any funding in loans or otherwise from any nation that is a socialist democracy, such as Amsterdam, or totalitarian state such as Communist China, to finance new debt, or pay principle or interest on any portion of the 10 trillion dollars in debt accumulated from the budgets drawn up, approved by and signed into law by, any of the conservative administrations of Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush or George Bush.
I will allow my employer to mandate that I work any number of hours per week that a week may contain and to receive any amount of compensation that that employer sees fit to pay at or over 1 penny per hour worked so as to constitute a wage and not be described as slavery.
I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in or the consumption of any benefits derived from any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:
State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
Police, Fire, and Emergency Services
US Postal Service
Roads and Highways including use of directional signs and/or traffic control devices such as lights
Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
The US Railway System
Public Subways and Metro Systems
Public Bus and Lightrail Systems
Rest Areas on Highways
All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)
Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)
Public and State Universities and Colleges
Public Primary and Secondary Schools
Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
Public Parks and Beaches
State and National Parks
Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)
Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)
Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking
Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies
Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies
I will not to extract any benefit or protection derived from the largest and most expensive socialist enterprise on the planet earth -- the United States Military and I will call for the dismantling of this socialist enterprise.
If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care
I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.
I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:
Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History
The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments
The government-operated Statue of Liberty
The Grand Canyon
The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials
The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery
All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC
I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.
I will boycott the products of corporate participants of socialism via defense contracting such as Halliburton, GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.
I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.
Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.
Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.
SWORN UPON A CHRISTIAN BIBLE APPROVED, MANDATED, AND ENFORCED BY A SELF-APPOINTED, VOLUNTEER, NON-SOCIALIST GOVERNMENT ENTITY UNDER PENALTY OF EXPULSION FROM THE COMMUNITY AND/OR PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT AS THE SELF-APPOINTED, VOLUNTEER ENTITY SEES FIT TO APPLY AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR ___.
Signed Printed Name and non-communal Town and State