100 Things You Can Say To Irritate A Republican

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Erik300
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I found this on the web the other day. Any other things to enrage them?

Dont tell Peter though-his head will explode. 

 

 Conservatives are so easy to anger these days. Even the most insignificant statement can set off their tempers. If you want to enrage a conservative, I suggest saying the following: 

1. A Socialist wrote the Pledge of Allegiance.
2. Jesus healed the sick and helped the poor, for free.
3. Joseph McCarthy was an un-American, witch hunting sissy.
4. Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee were traitors.
5. The South lost the Civil War, get over it.
6. The Founding Fathers were liberals.
7. Fascism is a right-wing trait.
8. Sarah Palin is an ugly cow (said to conservative males).
9. The Earth is round.
10. Reagan raised taxes eleven times as President.
11. Reagan legalized abortion as Governor of California.
12. Nixon created the Environmental Protection Agency.
13. Ronald Reagan supported gun control.
14. Global warming is real.
15. Republicans hate illegal immigrants, unless they need their lawns mowed or their houses cleaned.
16. The military is a government-run institution, so why do Republicans approve the defense budget?
17. The Cold War is over and the Soviet Union no longer exists.
18. Paying taxes is patriotic.
19. Republicans: Peddling the same failed economic policies since 1880.
20. The Republican Party began as a liberal party.
21. The Presidents’ full name is Barack Hussein Obama and he was born in the United States of America.
22. George W. Bush held hands with the King of Saudi Arabia.
23. President Obama saved the American auto industry, while Republicans wanted to destroy it.
24. Hate is not a Christian virtue.
25. Jesus was a liberal.
26. Republicans spend MORE money than Democrats.
27. Tea parties are for little girls.
28. Public schools educate all children; private schools are for indoctrinating children.
29. The Constitution is the law, NOT the Bible.
30. Sharia law doesn’t exist in America.
31. The President is NOT a Muslim.
32. Corporations are NOT people. People are people.
33. Fox News isn’t real news, it’s just a racist, sexist, hateful, right-wing propaganda machine.
34. The Federal Reserve was a Republican idea.
35. Women are equal citizens who deserve equal rights.
36. Women control their own bodies.
37. Abortion is a relevant medical procedure, just ask Rick Santorum.
38. Please use spell check.
39. It’s “pundit”, not “pundint”.
40. Social Security is solvent through 2038.
41. Health care is a right, not a product.
42. Roe v. Wade was a bipartisan ruling made by a conservative leaning Supreme Court.
43. G.O.P also stands for Gross Old Perverts.
44. The donkey shouldn’t be the Democratic mascot because Republicans are the real jackasses.
45. Barack Obama ordered the killing of Osama Bin Laden. It took him two and half years to do what Bush couldn’t do in eight.
46. Waterboarding IS torture.
47. 9/11 happened on George W. Bush’s watch, therefore he did NOT keep America safe.
48. Republicans invaded Iraq for oil, so Iraq should be allowed to invade Texas to get it back.
49. Separation of church and state is in the Constitution, it’s called the First Amendment.
50. Muslims are protected by the Constitution, just as much as Christians.

51. Barack Obama is the first African-American President, get over it.
52. The Oval Office is NOT a “whites only” office.
53. America is a nation of immigrants, therefore we are all anchor babies.
54. The white race isn’t disappearing, it’s evolving.
55. God is a particle.
56. Evolution is real.
57. The Earth is 4.54 billion years old, not 6,000.
58. The Founding Fathers did not free the slaves.
59. The Revolution was NOT fought over slavery.
60. Paul Revere warned the Americans, NOT the British.
61. Federal law trumps state law.
62. The Civil War was about slavery, NOT state’s rights.
63. Corporations care more about profits than they do about people.
64. Getting out of a recession requires government spending.
65. Glenn Beck is a nut-job.
66. Republicans: Paranoid since 1932.
67. Republicans don’t want to pay for your birth control, but they want you to pay for their Viagra.
68. Republicans actually NEED Viagra.
69. Fox News is owned by an Australian and has a Saudi prince as an investor.
70. Republicans complain about immigrants taking American jobs, then freely give American jobs to foreigners overseas.
71. Republicans hate communism, so why do they refer to themselves as red states?
72. Labor unions built this country.
73. Republicans hold America hostage as a political strategy; the temper tantrum throwing kind of political strategy.
75. When Republicans see black, they attack.
76. Inside every Republican is a Klansman or a Nazi waiting to bloom.
77. Republicans only care about children BEFORE they are born.
78. Republicans are hypocrites, they’re just too stupid to know it.
79. The Christian-Right boycotts movies that have violence, and then promotes guns and insurrection.
80. I think therefore I am NOT a Republican.
81. Republicans that oppose gay marriage are most likely in the closet themselves.
82. Churches should stay out of politics, or be taxed.
83. People are too poor to vote Republican.
84. Democrats think for themselves, Republicans form think tanks to do it for them.
85. Republicans hate education because they couldn’t hack it in school.
86. Greed is one of the seven deadly sins and Republicans wallow in it.
87. A little socialism on the Left is better than a little fascism on the Right.
88. The current corporate tax rate is the lowest in 60 years, so stop whining about it being too high.
89. Republicans: Anti-Gay Marriage, Pro-Lesbian sex.
90. Republicans: Terrorizing the America people since 1981.
91. Republicans have their own terrorists, just look up Timothy McVeigh.
92. Republicans love outsourcing, just ask the Chinese Communists.
93. The Republican answer to the oil spill was to apologize to BP, a foreign oil company.
94. Democrats will be working hard to bring jobs to Americans, while the Republicans tea bag each other in the middle of the aisles.
95. Voter disenfranchisement is immoral and un-American, that’s why Republicans do it.
96. Republicans would let your house burn down unless you pay them to put it out.
97. Democrats want to take care of the sick. Republicans take their credit cards and then deny them medical attention.
98. Republicans say teachers are union thugs, then proceed to rape and mug the entire middle class on behalf of corporations.
99. Republicans think rape isn’t a crime, but miscarriages are.
100. Republicans are idiots and arguing with them is a waste of time!

Bottom line? If you want to anger a conservative, tell them the truth.

Bottom line? If you want to anger a conservative, tell them the truth.

Comments

Erik300
Erik300's picture
Some  of my favorites I didnt

Some  of my favorites I didnt see:  

Reagan TRIPLED the national debt.

Reagan gave amnesty to 3 million illegals. 

Reagan's "economic boom" took place when the top tax rate was 50% (vs 35% today.) 

Recovering cons...
Recovering conservative2's picture
Thanks this is great. I hope

Thanks this is great. I hope folks will keep this going and see if we can get to 1000

Randy95023
Randy95023's picture
Tell the so called

Tell the so called Christian-Right Republicans that the Beatitudes are just "Commie Claptrap".  Also, don't forget to throw in that they were uttered by Jesus who was Jewish!  Using their own dogmas they can't deny either of these two statements as factual...

Telara
Not even so much as a

Not even so much as a hiccup..   Huh.  Maybe I'm not conservative enough

Revising History
Revising History's picture
The words to the Star

The words to the Star Spangled Banner were set to a popular drinking song called "To Anacreon in Heaven".

Civil War Buffs celebrate the destruction of the US Government and our way of life.

God is not Santa Claus, a bearded old man who "knows if you've been bad or good..." Or some kind of genie/concierge there solely to fullfill our every slightest whim.

Republican Family Values are Fear, Prejudice, Intimidation, and Hiding Behind Lawyers.

Children past a certain age who believe in imaginary friends and have tea parties for them are sent to Mental Health doctors to find out why.

George W. Bush admitted in writing that he is a War Criminal. Read the book he had ghostwritten.

Teachers, Police Officers, and other "government employees" may be the only things that allow Republibots to survive the coming years.

Socialism, fascism, Naziism, Leninism, Trotskyism, Bolshevism, and communism are NOT the same philosophies and should not all be applied to the same individual. Learn to read.

Adolph Hitler claimed to be a committed Christian who wanted to bring about this Mellinium they're always yapping about.

99% of Americans who vote Republican, even if they somehow won the lottery or something, would not be welcome even at the back doors of the country clubs (which are the real halls of power).

The Supreme Court of 2000 were "activist judges" who were cronies of a father and awarded the presidency to the son, subverting the clear will of the people. (On recount, Gore won by a clear margin; it was in the New York Times. Whatever you may have thought of Gore, he couldn't have fouled up this bad even on his worst day.)

immadashell
immadashell's picture
When a Repub mentions give

When a Repub mentions give more tax breaks to the "Job Creators" ask him how that's been working for the past 10 years.  Then how many jobs have been created in the past 10 years by the so called job creators?

Erik300
Erik300's picture
immadashell wrote: When a

immadashell wrote:

When a Repub mentions give more tax breaks to the "Job Creators" ask him how that's been working for the past 10 years.  Then how many jobs have been created in the past 10 years by the so called job creators?

Dont you know that in Supply-side theory, when the old tax cuts stop working you have to cut them even more? 

Steve.I.Am
Steve.I.Am's picture
Call them "Tea Baggers." 

Call them "Tea Baggers."  They hate that!  And then tell them that you call them "Tea Baggers" because 1) it is the name they originally chose for themselves; and, 2) "it is a fair, figurative, description of the position that Blue Collar Republicans take to the real, corporate, powers behind the Tea Bagger movement."

norske
norske's picture
That... or rather than

That... or rather than attempting to "irritate" them as many of them are wont to do to progressives, continue to patiently explain where they are in error. Irritating them or anyone right off the bat tends to cause people toe erect barriers to further constructive dialog. The same thing usually happens after patiently explaining where they are in error... but you maintain the moral high ground.

Vedura
Vedura's picture
Most republicans seem to wake

Most republicans seem to wake up irritated.  All I have to do is breathe.

kevin baggese
kevin baggese's picture
GIMME YOUR WALLET OR YOUR

GIMME YOUR WALLET OR YOUR WIFE SUCKER!!!OR WERE GONNA STICK YOU!!

R-CON WOULD HAND HER OVER.the thought of parting with money for anyone but themselves causes them a thrombo.

dianhow
dianhow's picture
worse I call them Baggers 

worse I call them Baggers 

dianhow
dianhow's picture
Great  list   Thom     

Great  list   Thom      Folks    Hammer  your  reps till they listen     DEmand they  work for us  NOT lobbyits  and  Corps       www.congress.gov    

chilidog
Ask them how many unborn

Ask them how many unborn babies have been slaughtered since Samuel Alito was placed on the Supreme Court in January 2006 (gonna be seven years soon.)

Finished... Corporate Personhood...

Next... Obamacare...

Yep, from 1981 to 2008 the GOP waved the Roe v Wade prolife flag and appointed 7 out of 9 justices, including both vacancies of the Chief Justice.

To quote Littleboots, "sometimes money trumps peace... in the womb"

Erik300
Erik300's picture
chilidog wrote: Ask them how

chilidog wrote:

Ask them how many unborn babies have been slaughtered since Samuel Alito was placed on the Supreme Court in January 2006 (gonna be seven years soon.)

Finished... Corporate Personhood...

Next... Obamacare...

Yep, from 1981 to 2008 the GOP waved the Roe v Wade prolife flag and appointed 7 out of 9 justices, including both vacancies of the Chief Justice.

To quote Littleboots, "sometimes money trumps peace... in the womb"

A little vague but very good points.  I would rephrase it to:

If the Supreme Ct has a pro-life conservative majority for the past 7 years, why havent they overturned Roe vs Wade? 

And "why didnt they do or say anything about abortion when they had both houses and the Presidency from 2001 to 2007?"  

Because they know they can get more campaign contributions and votes if abortion remains legal. 

Antifascist
Antifascist's picture
Quote:55. G-d is a

Quote:
55. G-d is a particle.

LOL!!!

Sprinklerfitter
Sprinklerfitter's picture
I call them fleece-baggers or

I call them fleece-baggers or flea baggers.

I've called them much worse but I won't list those names and combination of names since most of ya probably know what they are anyway.

I'll make sure I print this one out after a few days for future use.

chilidog
Erik300 wrote: If the Supreme

Erik300 wrote:

If the Supreme Ct has a pro-life conservative majority for the past 7 years, why havent they overturned Roe vs Wade? 

 

The Supreme Court hasn't had a majority of Justices appointed by godless America-hating Democrats since 1958.  Check your calendar - that's FIFTY-THREE YEARS.

Ever since America realized the threat of the potsmoking commie hippies, Democrats appointed 2 out of 14 justices from 1969 to 2009.

t'aint been seven years.

 

chilidog
Here's another good one:  in

Here's another good one:  in 1986 the USSC ruled in Bowers v Hardwick that states' anti-sodomy laws were not unconstitutional.  In 2003 in Lawrence v Texas, the Court reversed that decision.  Again, only 2 of those 9 justices were Democrat appointments.

Roe v Wade's been decided going on 40 years.  But it took just 17 years to make sodomy legal.  That will put a smile on their faces.

chilidog
It's been 50 years since the

It's been 50 years since the Engel v Vitale decision ruled that we cannot have prayer in public schools.  These things take time, ya know.  More than a month of Justice Sundays.

Erik300
Erik300's picture
Thanks for the correction

Thanks for the correction Dog, is this better? -  or feel free to rephrase it.  My SC history is a little weak. 

If the Supreme Ct has had a  conservative majority for the past 53 years, why did they  rule in favor of  Roe vs Wade? -and why havent they overturned it since? 

chilidog
Don't nerd it up.  Just ask

Don't nerd it up.  Just ask how many more babies have to be ripped from their mothers' wombs before the Roberts court decides to revisit Roe.  It works - I've used it.  Several times.  It is definitely a nuclear option, use it only if your exit lane is clear and you have no expectation of encountering the person again!  They react to the imagery.

Erik300
Erik300's picture
chilidog wrote: Don't nerd it

chilidog wrote:

Don't nerd it up.  Just ask how many more babies have to be ripped from their mothers' wombs before the Roberts court decides to revisit Roe.  It works - I've used it.  Several times.  It is definitely a nuclear option, use it only if your exit lane is clear and you have no expectation of encountering the person again!  They react to the imagery.

Ha. I doubt 1 out of 10 Republicans in the 99% would know what the "Roberts Court " meant. You have to get much more basic with them by inserting Republican or Conservative.   Believe me I know, I have debated probaby  thousands of middle class Repubs. Not the most  well- informed bunch of people.

I am pro-choice/ environmentalist so I also like to use this one.

If they make abortion illegal it will probaby cause a population explosion of illegal immigrants and welfare babies.-is that what you want?   

You have to use one hate against the other with them which cant be reconciled-- and watch their heads explode

DRC
DRC's picture
It has been some time since I

It has been some time since I have been able to taunt Republicans because they are doing such a super job of outrunning my hyperbole all I have to do is watch them do themselves in.

You can always throw in a little "Nein Nein Nein."  Or just stand there trying to think of that third thing you had to say... or back to Hermie, try for the Guiness Book of Records brain freeze.  Don't you love that sense of spin?

With active Republicans, laughing at their crap is the best way to piss them off.  With people betrayed by what has happened to the GOP, I try to remember what it was that allowed this brand to be an acceptable loyal opposition.  These folk need compassion more than ridicule; and they are more likely to admit that they cannot believe in these Republicans if they don't think you are their taunting victor.

I loved the list.  I am sure there will be more to come.  I like to suggest that we have great sympathy for the "job creators" and wish to help take the strain off them.  Obviously, things have not been going well for the job creators if their identities are really with this function rather than with their overstuffed wallets.  Job creating takes way too much time and attention away from enjoying the fruits of their success, and we want them to party it up.  But we have to help them with the job creation, and we need them to pay for the party pad.  What a deal!

There are innocent victims of Republicanism.  There are thugs who use it to be socially acceptable sociopaths.  My grandmother hated the Birchers who stole her party from her.  The Kochs are the Sons of Birches who have betrayed a lot of people whose politics do not align with corporatism.  Skillful manipulation excuses most of the public confusion; but not forever.  Not when the wizard is not hidden or the emperor is naked.  My grandparents hated the labor bosses, but they took in those in need and valued work.  Their rural perspective was that government was more personal than abstract.  "Small government" did not mean stinginess, it just meant a more grounded and direct democracy.

What I love about the list is the play and the use of ridicule to puncture the illusions of power.  Ridicule and nonviolence are the tools of humble revolution, a tribute to trust that the process will work out and the yeast bubble up without all that militance and ideology.  A sense of humor is more than therapeutic; and the image of OWS having fun rather than being violent or just angry is what drives the Right nuts.  They can deal with rage, but not with transcendence.  Their power is confirmed by violent opposition, but not by the refusal to give it authority.

Sprinklerfitter
Sprinklerfitter's picture
This post needs to have a

This post needs to have a sticky label on it for the many visitors that will come here in the future!!!!!

Are ya listening moderators?

Erik300
Erik300's picture
101 now.   Fox News Viewers

101 now.  

Fox News Viewers Know Less Than People Who Don't Watch Any News: Study

First Posted: 11/21/11 05:28 PM ET Updated: 11/21/11 06:06 PM ET

Fox News viewers are less informed than people who don't watch any news, according to a new poll from Fairleigh Dickinson University.

The poll surveyed New Jersey residents about the uprisings in Egypt and the Middle East, and where they get their news sources. The study, which controlled for demographic factors like education and partisanship, found that "people who watch Fox News are 18-points less likely to know that Egyptians overthrew their government" and "6-points less likely to know that Syrians have not yet overthrown their government" compared to those who watch no news.

Overall, 53% of all respondents knew that Egyptians successfully overthrew Hosni Mubarak and 48% knew that Syrians have yet to overthrow their government.

Dan Cassino, a political science professor at Fairleigh Dickinson, explained in a statement, "Because of the controls for partisanship, we know these results are not just driven by Republicans or other groups being more likely to watch Fox News. Rather, the results show us that there is something about watching Fox News that leads people to do worse on these questions than those who don’t watch any news at all."

This isn't the first study that has found that Fox News viewers more misinformed in comparison to others. Last year, a study from the University of Maryland found that Fox News viewers were more likely to believe false information about politics.

 
 

Commonsense461
If you want to anger a

If you want to anger a liberal point out that keynes him self said that his policies wouldn't work with structural debt and deficiet.

douglaslee
douglaslee's picture
Reagan allowed Pakistan to go

Reagan allowed Pakistan to go nuclear.

Reagan passed the EMTALA  that requires hospitals that accept medicare must also treat patients without insurance.

Zenzoe
Not to turn this into a

Not to turn this into a discussion on abortion, but let's keep the record straight: In truth, Reagan did not "legalize abortion" in California when he was Governor, at least not in any practical sense, since it only applied to therapeutic abortions, not elective abortions.

In 1967 Ronald Reagan signed into law California’s Therapeutic Abortion Act, which was supposed to “liberalize” abortion law as it stood at the time, when all abortions were illegal, and supposedly responded to the carnage resulting from self-induced abortions. As it was written, however, it did nothing of the sort:   “...abortion is legal only if a hospital committee determines that the pregnancy will gravely impair a woman’s physical or mental health or a District Attorney concludes that the pregnancy probably resulted from rape or incest. Health and Safety Code Sections 123405, 123407.”  https://www.aclunc.org/news/opinions/a_contemporary_abortion_law_for_california.shtml

Roe v. Wade thankfully overrode that California law, making elective abortions legal up until "viability," which might be as late as 28 weeks.  Unfortunately, that California law remained on the books despite Roe, and, if Roe were overturned, it could have posed a threat to abortion rights. Fortunately, in 2002 the Reproductive Privacy Act erased the earlier law.

Quote:

In California you have the fundamental right to make your own reproductive choices. You have the right to bear a child or to choose to obtain an abortion prior to the viability of the fetus or when abortion is necessary to preserve the life or health of the woman. These rights are codified in the 2002 Reproductive Privacy Act, and will stand in California even if Roe is overturned. http://www.prochoicecalifornia.org/in-our-state/current-laws.shtml 

https://www.aclunc.org/news/opinions/a_contemporary_abortion_law_for_cal...

chilidog
Regardless, based on that

Regardless, based on that action alone, today Reagan probably wouldn't even win a GOP primary for Senator, Governor, or any other statewide race. In CALIFORNIA.

Zenzoe
I get your point. Still, that

I get your point. Still, that action alone, which left most women alone in the dark with their coat hangers, and rape victims at the mercy of District Attorneys, doesn't make him liberal enough to earn praise from true liberals and progressives in an effort to annoy conservatives.  We should stick to "Jesus was a liberal" and leave it at that.  At least that would be entirely true.

 

Capital.1
Capital.1's picture
Zenzoe wrote: .  We should

Zenzoe wrote:

.  We should stick to "Jesus was a liberal" and leave it at that.  At least that would be entirely true.

 

strange,  I just quick search the Bible....  I didn't see anywhere where Jesus preached the benefits of Government .   Must Be in the NEW, NEW testiment. 

drc2
Once again, a rhetorical

Once again, a rhetorical dodge of every moral fact involved to turn away from the content of contemporary 'conservative' policy and the rhetoric it is sold with.  Zenzoe's point is solid.  Jesus confronted the religious dogmas and delivered direct care for the poor and homeless, pissing off a lot of people in power.  The people he represented had no power to run a government, so the moral testament is about who is included, and Jesus said "everyone."  He also put money second to caring and sharing, if that high on the list.  He understood the "widow's mite" and why the rich find it very hard to connect with their own humanity.

That is why he advised the "rich young ruler" to give it all away.  It is why he ran the money changers out of the Temple.  And then there are the sheep and the goats and that wonderful "the least of these" actually being served instead of moralized.  From what I see and hear in this world, I cannot find Jesus at home on the Right no matter how much religion they practice and preach.  The people who gave him trouble in the Bible were pious defenders of dogma and power.

Would Jesus have a thing or two to say to the Left?  Certainly.  But I cannot see him being less willing to "render unto democracy" than he was to Caesar.  A government that included all the human beings, that respected Creation and that practiced humanity and compassion would be seen as a good thing rather than a curse.  The Empire of Neocon and Religious Right idolatry, would be condemned for not exercising the proper civil authority as well as its crimes.

Getting your christology so backward is part of the heretical and blasphemous Religious Right.  We live in a civil society where we do not have heresy trials or even serious discussions of doctrine, so I do not dispute the right of the Right to be wrong.  They don't have to be so perverse and obvious about it, but that is also part of living in a civil pluralism.  My offense at this stain on the name of Christianity is real, but it is all part of the bearing of the cross.  Jesus died confronting the exclusion of many people from real humanity in his own occupied "Palestine."  The New Testament is the testimony to his exposing the "principalities and powers of this world" as false authorities rather than the Real Deal.  

In the Old Rome, they confronted the idea that Rome was the Holy Community, with Caesar as its God and its armies and wars as the way to world peace.  Instead, they invoked Jesus, "the community of faith," and doing healing and feeding the hungry as the way to peace.  It was treason, of course.  In the New Rome, I think Jesus would find a lot of Liberals deserving a good kick in the butt.  That would not make him miss the real enemy that put him on the cross.  It would not make him silent on the questions of social justice and humanity or who was demon possessed.  The butt kicking he would do on the Right would not be about his disappointment with his disciples.

Zenzoe
Thank you, Drc2, for that

Thank you, Drc2, for that comprehensive and eloquent response to Capital’s comment. 

Capital clings to the simplistic canard, absorbed no doubt from right-wing indoctrination, that liberals want “big” government but conservatives want “small’” government. I’m not going to waste my time on that one, since it’s so plainly ridiculous.

But I do like that Capital.1 sounded so irritated.  Good.  (I’m not a practicing Christian, so I can sit here and enjoy his irritation.)

Just to add a few bits to Drc2’s points, I’d like to say that the values Jesus espoused fit more compatibly with the values of liberals than with conservatives:

Liberals call for peace; Jesus called for peace: “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." [Matthew 5:9] 

Liberals call for compassion, forgiveness, mercy and tolerance (anti-death penalty, for example); Jesus called for compassion, forgiveness, mercy and tolerance: “Resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. [Matthew 5:39]  I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despite-fully use you, and persecute you;" [Matthew 5:44]

“If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone at her. [John 8:7]  Do not judge, lest you too be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. [Matthew 7:1 & 2.]   Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy [Matthew 5:7]  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."  [Matthew 6:15]

Liberals call for justice; Jesus called for justice: "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled."  [Matthew 5:6]

Liberals disdain greed and profit-motivated actions; Jesus disdained greed and profit-motivated actions: "In the temple courts [Jesus] found men selling cattle, sheep and doves and other sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. [John 2:14 & 15.] Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. [Luke 12.15.]  Truly, I say unto you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. [Matthew 19:23] You cannot serve both God and Money." [Matthew 6:24.]

Liberals accept taxation; Jesus accepted in taxation: "Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's..."  [Matthew 22:21] 

Liberals value community; Jesus valued community: “Love your neighbor as yourself. .[Matthew 22:39]  So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you. [Matthew 7:12.]  If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven." [Matthew 19:21] 

Liberals care for the poor and the vulnerable; Jesus cared for the poor and the vulnerable: “But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just." [Luke 14:13 &14.] 

Liberals have disdain for religious hypocrites; Jesus had disdain for them too: "And when thou pray, thou shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou pray, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret…" [Matthew 6:6 & 7]

To be fair, I would have to admit that Jesus' references to heaven and hell fit more compatibly with the spirit of conservatives, but, I take those words of Jesus more as rhetorical, or poetic devices, than as literal manipulations.

Recovering cons...
Recovering conservative2's picture
Capital.1 wrote: Zenzoe

Capital.1 wrote:

Zenzoe wrote:

.  We should stick to "Jesus was a liberal" and leave it at that.  At least that would be entirely true.

 

strange,  I just quick search the Bible....  I didn't see anywhere where Jesus preached the benefits of Government .   Must Be in the NEW, NEW testiment. 

apparently you didn't search to hard

"render unto Casear"   Mark 12:17 

Jesus paying taxes Matthew 17:24-27

In case you are having problems seperating carrying for your fellow man and your money

Read Matthew 6:24-27 (NLT):

“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

 

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?”

But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

 

 

Biblical Quotes Supporting the Belief that Jesus Is A Liberal

Peacemaking, not War Making: Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. [Matthew 5:9] Resist
not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. [Matthew 5:39] I say unto you, Love your
enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despite-fully use you, and persecute
you; [Matthew 5:44]

The Death Penalty: Thou shalt not kill [Matthew 5:21]

Crime and Punishment: If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone at her. [John 8:7] Do not judge, lest
you too be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to
you. [Matthew 7:1 & 2.]

Justice: Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. [Matthew 5:6] Blessed are the
merciful: for they shall obtain mercy [Matthew 5:7] But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your
trespasses. [Matthew 6:15]

Corporate Greed and the Religion of Wealth: In the temple courts [Jesus] found men selling cattle, sheep and doves and other
sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle;
he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. [John 2:14 & 15.] Watch out! Be on your guard against
all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. [Luke 12.15.] Truly, I say unto you, it will
be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. [Matthew 19:23] You cannot serve both God and Money. [Matthew 6:24.]

Paying Taxes & Separation of Church & State: Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the
things that are God's. [Matthew 22:21]

Community: Love your neighbor as yourself. .[Matthew 22:39] So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you.
[Matthew 7:12.] If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.
[Matthew 19:21]

Equality & Social Programs: But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed,
because they cannot repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just. [Luke 14:13 &14.]

Public Prayer & Displays of Faith: And when thou pray, thou shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in
the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
But thou, when thou pray, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret…
[Matthew 6:6 & 7]

Strict Enforcement of Religious Laws: If any of you has a son or a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take
hold of it and lift it out? [Matthew 12:11] The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath. [Mark 2:27.]

Individuality & Personal Spiritual Experience: Ye are the light of the world. [Matthew 5:14]
credit to http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/

 

Laborisgood
Laborisgood's picture
Commonsense461 wrote: If you

Commonsense461 wrote:

If you want to anger a liberal point out that keynes him self said that his policies wouldn't work with structural debt and deficiet.

Why on God’s green earth would a conservative/libertarian choose to resurrect this old gem of a thread from November 2011 that revolves around all that is so wrong with the modern GOP?  I'll chalk it up to the Holy Spirit.

Capital.1
Capital.1's picture
Zenzoe wrote: But I do like

Zenzoe wrote:

But I do like that Capital.1 sounded so irritated.  Good.  (I’m not a practicing Christian, so I can sit here and enjoy his irritation.)

Laughter doesn't translate over the internet very well.   I find it generally humorus that the left tries to cling to religious icon as support for thier ideals.   Yet nothing actually ever translates.   All your broad brush examples, easly translate to conservatives also.  Noe matter how you try spinning it.   Liberals rely upon Government,  Conservatives rely upon themselves.

I do love that "Liberals care for the poor and the vulnerable".  Yet it is conservatives That give more offen and more of themselves.  While liberals choose government as thier choice to fixing the problems of the world.    I don't recall any passages of Jesus Asking Rome for assistence.     Arthur C. Brooks, published "Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism."

 

Don't worry,  I'm a none practicing Chatholic

DynoDon
Tell them Edgar J Hoover and

Tell them Edgar J Hoover and Ronald Reagan had an affair. lol

al3
al3's picture
Capital.1 wrote:  All your

Capital.1 wrote:

 All your broad brush examples, easly translate to conservatives also.  Noe matter how you try spinning it.   Liberals rely upon Government,  Conservatives rely upon themselves.

Uh, no.

Liberals understand their success is due to their genius, ingenity, and ideas, enabled by the unique business climate enabled by our government. 

Conservatives understand their success is due to THEIR genius, THEIR ingenuity, THEIR ideas, and NOTHING else. 

Conservatives have an OVERINFLATED view of themselves.

Zenzoe
Capital.1 wrote: Zenzoe

Capital.1 wrote:

Zenzoe wrote:

But I do like that Capital.1 sounded so irritated.  Good.  (I’m not a practicing Christian, so I can sit here and enjoy his irritation.)

Laughter doesn't translate over the internet very well.   I find it generally humorus that the left tries to cling to religious icon as support for thier ideals.   Yet nothing actually ever translates.   All your broad brush examples, easly translate to conservatives also.  Noe matter how you try spinning it.   Liberals rely upon Government,  Conservatives rely upon themselves.

I do love that "Liberals care for the poor and the vulnerable".  Yet it is conservatives That give more offen and more of themselves.  While liberals choose government as thier choice to fixing the problems of the world.    I don't recall any passages of Jesus Asking Rome for assistence.     Arthur C. Brooks, published "Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism."

Don't worry,  I'm a none practicing Chatholic

Anyone for six misspelled words with your conservative hogwash?

In fact, conservatives are crazy about "big government."  How does rampant corporate welfare translate to self-reliance?  Hm-m-m?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporate_welfare

Big Government and Big Business Go [and massive military spending] Go Hand in Hand.

 Welfare for the Well-Off: How Business Subsidies Fleece Taxpayers

Federal subsidies to big oil.

 

al3
al3's picture
Capital.1 wrote: Liberals

Capital.1 wrote:

Liberals rely upon Government,  Conservatives rely upon themselves.

Liberals rely upon Government, Conservatives, in their deluded dreams, rely upon themselves.

 

al3
al3's picture
Capital.1 wrote:  Liberals

Capital.1 wrote:

 Liberals rely upon Government,  Conservatives rely upon themselves.

Can you cite any bridges you've built with your own bare hands?  How about any roads?....Hmmm.....How did you or your conservative heroes get yourself across the oceans to fight WWII?    Did you fight the Germans and Japanese with your bare hands?  Did you develop the war plans that beat them?  Oh, and I'm sure you could chase down, super-hero style -we are talking about conservatives, after all - any threats to your business' intellectual property?  Did you build ports youself?   Do you stand outside your property with a gun, fending off criminals, yourself?  Yep - I'm sure you could put a house fire out yourself, after all we are talking about a bootstraps conservative. Oh, and you could fund the labs and do the research yourself that made many of the basic scientific breakthroughs in the last few decades?....And you parents....I'm sure you could have them back living with you, taking care of them with no Medicare or SS.....Yep, you could do all that YOUSELF.

Do you live on a farm and grow your own food with no power or running water, and manage to make a living and support your family?  Even then, you'd owe government, but that would be the only way maybe I'd give you a break.

Don't fool youself.  You're not that good.  None of us are.

Zenzoe
al3 wrote: Capital.1

al3 wrote:

Capital.1 wrote:

 Liberals rely upon Government,  Conservatives rely upon themselves.

Can you cite any bridges you've built with your own bare hands?  How about any roads?....Hmmm.....How did you or your conservative heroes get yourself across the oceans to fight WWII?    Did you fight the Germans and Japanese with your bare hands?  Did you develop the war plans that beat them?  Oh, and I'm sure you could chase down, super-hero style -we are talking about conservatives, after all - any threats to your business' intellectual property?  Did you build ports youself?   Do you stand outside your property with a gun, fending off criminals, yourself?  Yep - I'm sure you could put a house fire out yourself, after all we are talking about a bootstraps conservative. Oh, and you could fund the labs and do the research yourself that made many of the basic scientific breakthroughs in the last few decades?....And you parents....I'm sure you could have them back living with you, taking care of them with no Medicare or SS.....Yep, you could do all that YOUSELF.

Do you live on a farm and grow your own food with no power or running water, and manage to make a living and support your family?  Even then, you'd owe government, but that would be the only way maybe I'd give you a break.

Don't fool youself.  You're not that good.  None of us are.

That's tellin' him, Al.

Capital.1
Capital.1's picture
Zenzoe wrote: Anyone for six

Zenzoe wrote:

Anyone for six misspelled words with your conservative hogwash?

It really too bad we can't post pictures on this site. 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YAFqZPkqZUM/TbZN8GNCwdI/AAAAAAAAAMA/EH3SCsi3kA4/s1600/baby-cry.jpg

Quote:
In fact, conservatives are crazy about "big government." How does rampant corporate welfare translate to self-reliance? Hm-m-m? 

Here's a thought... Why don't you organize a Protest and sit in. I find that statement intellectually dishonest and complete devoid of reality. I sure you could solve all of the Government interest in their subsidy program by the nationalization of industries.  See….  Government to your rescue.   How government assume control and all your little worries melt away.    The liberal way.   

 

Capital.1
Capital.1's picture
al3 wrote: Can you cite any

al3 wrote:

Can you cite any bridges you've built with your own bare hands? 

It doesn't have a name,  And it's essentially a Railroad carbody spanning a small river. 

Quote:
 How about any roads?....
 

Several actually.  

Quote:
How did you or your conservative heroes get yourself across the oceans to fight WWII? 

Ships.  Only Jesus walks on water.   Bit before my time... 

Quote:
Did you develop the war plans that beat them? 

That would be either Eisenhower, MacArthur, Bradley, Clark, Patton to name a few. 

Sorry.... seems to be a run-on thought. So because of WWII, Jesus is a liberal. Or are you just confused about reliance upon government to do what people are clearly capable of doing on their own. As opposed to building a Giant Aircraft carrier to conduct war. Liberals, Got to love them

 

 

Zenzoe
Capital.1 wrote: As opposed

Capital.1 wrote:
As opposed to building a Giant Aircraft carrier to conduct war.

That's not even a sentence.  Conservatives— you've got to just shake your head and smile.

Your lack of grammatical skill is not surprising, given your inability to comprehend that everything conservatives value and achieve depends on BIG government . And I am quite sick and tired of American taxpayers' having to subsidize BIG business and BIG military. If your corporate and military Welfare Queens are so reliant, how about they give up the subsidies and do it all on their own? They can certainly afford it!

Paleo-con
Zenzoe wrote: Capital.1

Zenzoe wrote:

Capital.1 wrote:
As opposed to building a Giant Aircraft carrier to conduct war.

That's not even a sentence.  Conservatives— you've got to just shake your head and smile.

Your lack of grammatical skill is not surprising, given your inability to comprehend that everything conservatives value and achieve depends on BIG government . And I am quite sick and tired of American taxpayers' having to subsidize BIG business and BIG military. If your corporate and military Welfare Queens are so reliant, how about they give up the subsidies and do it all on their own? They can certainly afford it!

Actually, I did shake my head and smile.  Unfortunately, it was not at conservatives.

The claim that any of the constructs mentioned in this thread are dependent on big government is overinflated at best.  I believe you will find that Government does not build those roads, bridges, ships, or whatever.  All those constructs are built by private individuals and corporations.  For example, given that bridges are built by corporations for private interest on private property for private purposes, as well as on public property for public purposes, it is hardly apropos to suggest that without government bridges could not be built.  The same example can be used for ships, roads, aircraft, guns, or whatever.

The big Government fans simply have the model reversed.  It is the Government that cannot get things accomplished without the corporations.  Feel free to count the bridges that were built without a corporation.  Now lets count the bridges built without Government (giving leeway for permits, regulations, etc); I can easily count 10 within five miles of my house.  Therefore, the bottom line is that a corporation that provides structure, such as a bridge, can exist with or without Government.  And therefore, a bridge can exist with or without Government.  The notion that Government can provide structures, such as a bridge, without private enterprise is false.

D_NATURED
D_NATURED's picture
Quote:The notion that

Quote:
The notion that Government can provide structures, such as a bridge, without private enterprise is false.

The notion that private industry can exist without the structure of government is the big lie here. Your defense of fascism is noted.

DynoDon
For one example-look at the

For one example-look at the problems Russia has with capitalism without a legal structure to enforce contracts and the like.

Capital1
Capital1's picture
D_NATURED wrote: Quote:The

D_NATURED wrote:

Quote:
The notion that Government can provide structures, such as a bridge, without private enterprise is false.

The notion that private industry can exist without the structure of government is the big lie here. Your defense of fascism is noted.

Why would a industry not exist without government.  Does a farmers market require a Government structure to sell thier products?  I can think of many industries that could and would thrive outside a government structure.  Seems you have a false impression of the nature and limitations of Government..