I turned on the news today and discovered a shocking story. Apparently there is a republican "war" on women. OMG! As a conservative does this mean me? I am at war? So what should I do? My sisters, inlaws, wife, wifes friends and my three daughters have no clue that I am at war with them. In fact some of them are conservatives so they probably don't even realize that they are at war with themselves yet. As a woman fighter I've been pretty pathetic. In fact, get this. I actually have paid money to send my girls to college so that they won't be dependant on some man as Hillary Clinton was. But please do not tell General Palin she might bust me down to buck private. Speaking of General Palin, how did we convince her to go to war against herself? Yeah and Colonel Coulter, Captain Jan Brewer and Major Megyn Kelly. We women fighters are pretty tricky! Yep, that's the ticket. The last thing we want for our wives and daughers is to be successful and happy. So the war rages on. I have thought of one battle that I have fought in the war on women. When we go to the beach I immediately remove my shirt and roam around topless. I refuse to allow my wife the same freedom (at least when the kids are around). So far I have won this battle but who knows what the future holds. She could go rogue. So I guess for today she is still my prisoner in the war on women. But for the love of everything holy, please don't tell her!!!!