My sad adventure today - but with a silver lining

BeekeeperJoy's picture

Well today was a very sad day for me today... Heartbreaking, in fact.  We had to let our alpacas, whom we've nurtured, grown, and gotten to know from birth, for the past 8 years, go to new places today.  They couldn't stay here, it's far too dangerous, the rockslide that impacted us on March 21 (thank you, Gaia), was far too dangerous after it slammed into the corral.  The alpacas were endangered living here, and we were endangered every time we went into feed them.  So the people who own Round Mounta Alpacas came today and took 11 of them and the alpacas will have 40 acres of pasture to frolic on, and later a farm for sustainable education who help inner-city youth came and picked up our last two remaining more gentle alpacas.  Looking into Arwen's and Marissa's eyes, I saw nothing but confusion and fear, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't explain to them WHY they were leaving.  Nor could I explain to the other alpacas who trusted me why they were being loaded into a strange metal object and taken from the only home they have ever known.  I feel just awful.  Poor Shaherazade cushed right outside the gate, she had never been outside her corral, and she crumbled before my eyes.  I did everything I could to encourage her, and finally it took many strong men (she's a big girl) to lift her on her feet and put her into the trailer.  She was terrified and totally despondent.  I'm so sorry, Shara (my nickname for her).  

They say that life has episodic moments that you can't always control, and I now know this is true, but that it is so painful "they" never really prepare you for.  I have nothing but love for my alpacas, and am so sorry to lose them over something that I had no control over.  I couldn't have done anything to prevent this. 

 

There is one bright aspect in this though... I discovered that I live on a wonderful road by people who are also impacted by this, many came to help today to evacuate, in fact much more than I could have possibly expected.  Those people being there was not only helpful to evacuate these gentle animals but also incredibly helpful for me and my husband's mental and psychological well being, and I got many hugs and expressions of concern when it finally hit me how hard this was to do.  I received a lot of hugs of support and expressions of concern from virtual strangers, which tells me, people ARE at their VERY core, good.  And they helped put these poor, confused animals into the trailer with a circle of compassion and kindness that just astonished me, no one got impatient, no matter how stubborn the animals were.  Everyone had deep care for these animals, even though many had met them for the first time that day.  

So I feel very blessed for this, even though I've suffered a loss that is much bigger than I even understood when I realized I had to give them away to save them.  Much bigger emotionally in terms of losing them, but much bigger also in my understanding of the inherent goodness of people when they have the chance to show just how compassionate they can be.  And while my heart aches from this tremendous loss, I feel a great deal of love and gratitude for those that came together today to help us in a next to impossible chore, emotionally.  

Drying my eyes,

Joy (aka LadyLiberty3)

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Comments

Georgys
Sometimes you have to do what

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. For the goodnes of someones, you'll have to give up to them in order to live their lives peaceful elsewhere. Head up and look to the other days to come which will be full of other pleasent, silver surprises, cercei argint.