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After graduating from UCSC with a BS in Astrophysics in 2008, I have still found myself at the same job that helped put me through college (thanks banksters for ruining the job market).

My degree has come in handy, however, in developing an equation to determine what kind of Ayn Rand human a person is. Here it is, with explanation.

(X-1)$ = ±Human Worth

$= the annual income of the individual, while

X is the annual income multiplier, and is equal to (G+S)/(C+E)

With G = Greed

S = Selfishness

C = Compassion

and E= Empathy

Each variable within X is rated on a scale of one to one hundred by a series of questions that determine the individuals Greed level, Selfishness level, ect. The annual income multiplier works in concert with the annual income of the individual to determine their human worth according to Ayn Rand.

There are two official categories which define what kind of human you are and each contains two subcategories. The official categories are the idyllic and the undesirable.

The idyllic will have a positive value while the undesirable will have a negative value. Within the subcategory of idyllic, there are the heroes and the pawns, pawns can also be thought of as the Fox “News” viewer. Within the subcategory of undesirable are the traitors and the peasants. These subcategories are further explained below.

Undesirable: (defined by a negative value of human worth and 0 ≤ X < 1)

Peasant:

If 0 ≤ X < 1 and $ < 100,000, then you are a peasant, you are worthless as a human according to Ayn Rand and the only function you serve is to support the rich, but can be easily replaced with another peasant.

Traitor:

If 0 ≤ X < 1 and $ ≥100,000, then you are a traitor to your class. You are actually lower then the peasants because although the peasants can’t do anything besides vote, the traitor has the power to use their money to stave off a libertarian paradise and serves as a bad example to the Pawns and Heroes.

Idyllic: (defined by a positive value for human worth and X≥1)

Pawn, aka Fox News viewer:

If X ≥ 1 and $ < 100,000, then you are a useful tool of the super-rich. Your heart is in the right place, although your checking account is pathetically low. You help the rich adopt their pro-rich agenda in a democracy and as a reward the Heroes will try their hardest to help you out by destroying Social Security and Medicare, thereby increasing your “freedom”.

Hero:

If X ≥ 1 and $ ≥ 100,000, then you are a true hero. Your burden, however, is to keep those below you in check and flee the United States in case you must go on strike to teach the peasants a lesson.

This may not be a perfect equation, but it will give a person the gist on what kind of human being the libertarians/objectivist/modern republicans will classify an individual as.

Have fun, and if any one is looking for a hard worker in the field of astrophysics, feel free to contact me.

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