You need to know that Otto Rank is recognized as one of the finest psychologists who ever walked the earth. This comes from a previous blog,

http://www.thomhartmann.com/users/alberto-ceras/blog/2012/04/man-woman-relations.

If you're confused, go there. Otherwise read on.

OK, guys. I’m back. But I’ve got to finish this class, won’t take long. Otto you can come in if you want but the AC is on the fritz. I don’t want it to get any hotter. You better stay outside, B.B.

Don’t say that.

Why? It’s short for Beelzebub, why mind?

It gets me confused with that other guy.

You mean Bibi, Netanyahu.

Yeah, the creepy son of a prick wants my job.

Some think he’s already got it.

Not yet, but he’s trying. Use my real name.

What’s that?

Lucifer S. Devil, the Second.

OK, Luce. But why second, why not junior?

No senior, ipso facto, no junior.

Makes sense. But second?

I’m second in command, below that guy up there.

I get it. Look, I’ll just be a couple of minutes. Got to finish the demonstration. Hang out here in the hall.

Students, as I was saying, we're going to test the truth of this statement: "Trying to reason with a woman is like trying to catch a fart with a butterfly net." Now, this is a butterfly net…Oh, god! That was awful.

Just trying to help out, doc.

Well, that won’t get you any brownie points.

Yes, it did.

Oh.

Can we go clean up?

Yeah, girls, you’d better. I’ll wait. The rest room is…No, no. not that one, that’s the men’s!

It’s a public restroom, right?

Well yes, but…

And our tax dollars paid for it.

So…

And we’ve got equal rights with men.

All right, all right. Have at it. But a word of caution – avoid the urinals.

Why? We have our rights!

Well, then, stand close. I don’t know how you’ll manage, though, if you’re wearing…

We’re not.

Oh, I see. But it spatters. You know, like a cow…

Cut the shit, old man, you creepy son of a prick. We’ve had lots of practice.

OK, OK. God, why can’t I call a slut a slut? Now…What the… What happened to my students? They’re gone. Couldn’t stand it, I guess. Me either, smell's like... I’ve got to throw up. No, no. I forgot. That one’s occupied. Oh, well, I’ve got the right…

Guys, Otto, LSD, what the hell are you doing in the ladies?

We got the right.

But why did you piss on the floor, for god’s sake?

No urinals.

But there are…

We’re protesting.

What?

That there’re no urinals. There should be urinals in every public restroom. Equal rights. You know.

That doesn’t make sense.

Look, they put diaper changing stations in the men’s rooms, didn’t they?

Well, yes, but…

So there you are.

I’ve had it. I’m going for a sex change.

You’re going to become a girl?

No. A hermaphrodite. Prick, balls, vagina, ovaries – totally self-contained, self-bisexual and more. And here's the best part: I can have incestuous sex with my self, whenever I want it.

Wouldn’t it be better to have an orchidectomy? Become a drone?

Don’t use that word!

Why not? The bees do.

It’s classified.

But I saw one this morning, right above…

Forget it.

OK. But what if you have children? You know, all those birth defects.

No chance. Ligation, vasectomy. Double sterility, doubly sterile.

But you may be psychologically damaged!

What, with orgasms and ejaculations both, all at once, whenever I want? No time to think about it.

You’ll be breaking the law.

Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Right, didn’t think of that. By god, Lucie, maybe we ought to, too.

Way ahead of you, Otto. You think the girls might…?

We’ll pick them up on the way. This may be the new wave, universal, bisexual, all-in-one!

The end of prostitution. No more Secret Service scandals.

And no more children.

Alberto will be pleased.

One thing bothers me, doc - may be a kink in the plan.

What’s that, Otto?

I don’t think it will bend that far.

Later, we’ll work it out. What’s that book you’ve got there?

Shakespeare.

Which one?

“Taming of the Shrew.”

As you like it. All's well that ends well.

THE END

Images

A Slut I Once Knew - A Sordid Tale

Comments

Alberto Ceras 2 years 19 weeks ago
#1

Shouldn't that read "A Shakespearian Tail?" or "...Tailend?"

Spectator's picture
Spectator 2 years 19 weeks ago
#2

Well, it was confusing so I changed the title. Did you notice? But you may be right in any case. "A Sordid Tail" or "A Sordid Tailend" might work very well. I'll stink it over. Oops - think. Freudian.

express's picture
express 2 years 19 weeks ago
#3

If everybody becomes hermaphrodite won't that interfere with oral sex? I don't see just how that would work. And 69? Would be a little crowded.

Alberto Ceras 2 years 19 weeks ago
#4

I'm a little confused. Here's a guy says he's Lucifer S. Devil the Second. Now Calperson told me back on "Why Do You Have Children" that I was Satan. i was getting used to being second in command and now some creepy son of a prick wants to demote me. What gives?

I've picked up on that "creepy son of a prick" phrase I believe one of TH's feminist bloggers originated it (I seem to bring out the "creative" in people). I guess you understand that no militant, agressive feminist would ever use the word "bitch."

I'll maybe have something to say about your concerns, express. Later.

caroline01's picture
caroline01 2 years 19 weeks ago
#5

Look, you should be worried sick. How can you say bad things about Obama's boss, BiBi Netanyahu? Obama will send a drone your way and splatter you and your neighbors to kingdom come. Head for cover, now.

Spectator's picture
Spectator 2 years 19 weeks ago
#6
Quote express:

If everybody becomes hermaphrodite won't that interfere with oral sex? I don't see just how that would work. And 69? Would be a little crowded.

We have some already converteds working (?) on that problem right now. We hope that we can get them to stop long enough to give us some data. Until then...

Alberto Ceras 2 years 19 weeks ago
#7

Hey, here're a couple of guys with no balls. What about them? Oh...it just hit me. they can stay just like they are...curiosities. Harmless.

And another thing. For those women who wear panties and don't want the sex change (addition, whatever).but still want to use the men's urinals.here's an idea. Thongs with a snap or bit of velcro in the back. Just a flick of the wrist and the crotch's out of the way and, snap, it's back again when business is finished. Be convenient, too, for other, ah business.

Spectator's picture
Spectator 2 years 19 weeks ago
#8

Off the subject, but this hurt. Sadly I expected it but at the same time I hoped and hoped that it wouldn't happen. Maybe weshould take a break, regroup.:

.http://truth-out.org/news/item/8920-occupied-oaklands-may-daze

Occupied Oakland's May Daze

Friday, 04 May 2012 14:27

By Susie Cagle, Truthout | News Analysis

We wouldn't expect Occupy to get the vote out for Barack Obama or Buddy Roemer or whoever else were this not an election year. Occupy does not need to elect candidates they approve of to public office because Occupy cannot and should not be everything to American political reform. But this fall, Occupy won't be the crisis; election politics will. That is what stands to eclipse interest in Occupy rather than stand beside it and create more space for a broader range of politics. America may well be occupied, but it also just doesn't have any more room.

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/05/occupy-wall-street-should-be-left-tea-party

Why Occupy Should Be the Left's Tea Party

May Day was a success, but Occupy needs to rethink itself if it wants to change America.

—By Josh Harkinson | Wed May. 2, 2012 8:05 AM PDT

Maybe it's too late now that the Occupy brand has lost some of its early resonance. But I'd like to think that now's the time to consider a true diversity of tactics. Occupy has drawn attention to the rigging of the political system by boycotting it. Now it can campaign against that political system—against Washington—by working to elect people who will unrig it.

Alberto Ceras 2 years 19 weeks ago
#9

Sad, yes. The Anti-Globalization, or Counter-Globalization, movement had much in common with the Occupy movement. Let's hope it doesn't suffer the same fate. A short life and then.oblivion.

Spectator's picture
Spectator 2 years 18 weeks ago
#10

It looks to me that they are both dead or dying. Why not start a Labor Movement? Labor could - should - be an effective force against Wall Street and heartless corporations.

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