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Help!!

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Help!!

hello! I don't know if this is the right subject board to post this, so apologies if I should be elsewhere. I am a 42 yr old uk woman and think I am going out of my mind. I walked out of my job yesterday for reasons that would take more than a page to record, this is what lead me to tom's book the Edison Gene. I have struggled for years with hyperactity, concentration, making mistakes subsequently leading to bullying, ostracising , humiliation - the list is endless as you are probably aware. I think I have an attention defecit problem. I have been to my gp who says as an adult I can not be diagnosed. Over the last three years I have been moved from department to department at work due to bullying because of the mistakes I have made - the bully's have never been questioned, I am a secretary pa, currently for our service manager in the health service ( it's actually the same department but in different locations- everyone knows each other) and for some reason I make menial mistakes and as time goes on and with each department I am faced with hr policies for reasons such as "inability to follow simple instructions", capability ( lack of) I am monitored constantly whether under policy or not, this makes me very anxious and the mistakes get worse, leading me to get upset as I think I am a stupid idiot. I do not have any children due to unforeseen medical reasons but have a supportive partner. I am currently going through the change of life which isn't helping. I have tried exercise, vitamins, diet, meditation, gp gave me fluoxetine which for years I was against, but had to do something, I even do mantras every day before work so I don't make an error. I am however very creative and resourceful - if it can be made I'll make it and not buy it, I am eccentric, and fun to be around even though I have my demons. when I was younger I was put back a year at primary school,struggled in class, was disruptive, non conforming. Experimented with all types of drugs and alcohol. Does this sound familiar!!So here I am again, helpless. I can't afford a private psychiatrist. I have worn my heart on my sleeve a bit here and I apologise for going on a bit but would really appreciate some advice as I do feel isolated in a world of puppets where nobody understands.

thank you

Julieh12's picture
Julieh12
Joined:
Jan. 28, 2014 1:44 am

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