Oct. 13, 2017 1:39 pm
By Alberto Ceras 2
Executive orders we’ve all been waiting for (and fearing).
- From this day forward the former United States of America will be known as The United States of West Israel (USWI).
- Within 30 days the former Iran will be known as North Israel.
- The 50 five-pointed stars of the present holy banner will be retired and replaced with a single large, gold-tone Star of David.
- The Right Honorable Jarhead Krapner will immediately occupy the newly established office of Chancellor, second in command only to that of the Fuehrer-for-Life (formerly known as President).
- The present U.S. Congress will immediately retire. The Israeli Knesset will assume all functions of that former but now useless body.
- The USWI national anthem will be the same as the Israeli national anthem, HaTikvah, which means “The Hope” in Hebrew.
- Those NFL players who do not salute, stand and sing when the new anthem is played (both before and after each game) will be immediately fired and forever known as sons-of-bitches (which epithet will be tattooed onto each SOB’s forehead).
- Those who oppose these grand Executive Orders, including dissenting USWI Jews, will be transported by cattle car to the nearest newly constructed concentration camp and held without food or water until ovens are completed.
ALL HAIL HERR DONALD TRUMPELSTILTSKIN