Top Eleven Blisses if Gov. Walker wins 6/5/12 recall election:
1. No need for intelligent politicians as all new laws will continue to be written by out of state right wingers and passed without real input or debate. Gov. Walker approves his appointing all the top positions in each state agency, stating, “This is what real democracy looks like! This makes life so much easier for all of us.”
2. The Report of the Governor appointed team studying the current fully funded Wisconsin Retirement Pension Fund announces that the Fund is in trouble but will not explain. Gov. Walker passes legislation breaking up this world-renowned Pension Fund and gives money to private investors to invest, as they will.
3. The Onion” publishes first real news article: “The Benefits of Having No Democracy in Wisconsin.”
4. “Natural resources” is redefined as whatever is not needed by a business.
5. Job creators sigh with relief when the “No Complaints Allowed in Wisconsin” law is passed.
6. Wisconsin students celebrate Gov. Walker’s 1.6 billion budget cuts as they realize that schools will only be able to offer 50% educations.
7. Unemployed teachers go to McDonald’s Management University to learn relevant job skills.
8. With unequal pay laws, women turn to being stay-at-home leisure wives.
9. The government intrusion into women’s reproductive health care leads to less sex for men.
10. People getting thrown off the luxury programs like BadgerCare health insurance and Food Stamps are thankful they are free from having to do any paperwork and can increase their leisure time, just like the job creators.
11. Not needing to be here to govern, Gov. Walker declares that he is now a national figure with larger political ambitions; he waves good-bye to Wisconsinites.