The Lost Art of Poo-Doo

A botanist who scours shelves for mysterious old books and herbals is likely to find something unusual eventually, especially in private collections of books which have somehow ended up for sale at the Faith Farm. Of great rarity in my collection are a set of small books which belonged to a priest, on the Ritual and Practice of Poo-Doo, Its Use in Human Kind.

Poo-Doo allows the permanent externalization of painful conflict inflicted upon the primal creative ego, for the release and assured removal of anger and guilt over anger, honing judgement for better reflexes against approaching repeat conflicts which the ego then successfully anticipates and deflects.

Somewhat Pavlovian in theory, Poo-Doo bases its approach to adapting to mental pain inflicted by others, on a cyclical human tendency towards conflicts which re-occur. It happens due to an unresolved seed-conflict which is buried and dealt with in our inner, controllable world. Inside we can safely detest, abhor, hex, and make fun of our tormentors without seeming to have any imperfections. The Priests of Poo Doo consider this to be the road to illness whereupon the personality is launched onto a socio-path or a pyscho-path. In either case, where seeds have been planted as the result of a previous serious injury to the psyche, they have to be eradicated to end the cycle of regrowth which is often triggered by trivial occurrences, the older we get.

As I say it is a little set of books, as Poo-Doo is applied and taught by books, according to the needs, age, and type injury to the individual. Extreme Poo-Doo is the highest level, and used only when possibility of mental breakdown or debilitating sadness is eminent.

According to the texts, Poo-Doo is contraindicated in injustice-gatherers, Narcissism, and the frankly insane, but highly useful in cases of depression, multiple personality and mood disorders. The treatment mode and course must be thought out carefully to allow a safe but effective release of anger and aggression which is at the same time pleasurable and humorous, and allows the Self to react in private, yet actively in the external world. It is only there the Self can overcome and continue to charge forward rather than harbor an inner city of people not gotten along with, which in effect, retains them forever to torment from the subsconsious.

One case described that of a woman who was banned from her Yoga Class due to a conflict created by her top competitors, though the three had been lunch companions for years. Considering it was Yoga, after all, and the center of the woman's life, being cut off and betrayed from the Unity of Life by her closest spiritual comrades could not be justified in her external thinking. She was really ticked off.

She was assigned a Poo-Doo Practioner who discovered the companions had given her a certain pair of lycra Yoga pants one birthday. The Practitioner then selected an applicable pamphlet and told the woman to go home and read it for herself. The therapy prescribed that in absolute privacy, the wounded patient use a Sharpie and every inch of fabric to write "Goodbye" So and So "So Long, Farewell," anything funny, using the names of the offenders, with generous use of "Goodbye." No hostilities or curses were allowed, just as many ways of saying personal toodle-loos as possible were encouraged.

The instructions were to plan at least one hour for a thorough job of decorating fabric for Poo-Doo. Then the use of sewing scissors was allowed, which cut through lycra with a satisfying sensation, to carefully and tenderly render the fabric into tiny pieces, as if it were a sewing project of the greatest importance. The activity was to take place in the patient's favorite room, with music or programming, and pure essential oil aromatherapy. The remains of the pants filled two small grocery bags.

Now comes the essence of Poo-Doo, for the completion of therapy requires patience and time, or disastrous consequences may occur. The externalized private healing would be no longer private because explanations and a plumber would be required.

The contents of the two bags were to be disposed of in already-necessary acts of flushing. This meant gleeful removal by sewer system, but a few tiny pieces of lycra at a time. The bags were kept handy in a decorative basket so that every flush would serve a double purpose, and it was an entire four months till the last curl of lycra went its course.

The woman experienced complete, private self-liberation from a disturbing situation which she consciously knows is stored in tertiary treatment wastewater, where it belongs.

No one else need ever know what we do with Poo Doo, particularly at the upper late stage levels, where our most fundamental creativity becomes the central component of therapy.

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