“Today’s phrase”? “Conservative Christian”. As soon as you pick yourself off of the floor and stop laughing, just try and digest this hilarious and fraudulent, political label, for just a moment. “Conservative”? AND yet, simultaneously, “Christian”? A ridiculous notion, right? I mean, isn’t this particular label typically “proclaimed”, with a predictably- smug, self-righteous and indignant tone? And, so often, one, self-servingly blared out in a "public" space or forum (for “maximum” effect, of course). And YET, isn't this political label also one of the most OXYMORONIC, as well - especially within the context of today’s political climate/reality? And the answer is?! A resounding "you betcha"!
Indeed, it’s long been infuriating for so many “normal” people, who truly and consistently act in a Christian manner toward their fellow man, and without the needless, annoying and duplicitous “wearing of their religion on their sleeve”, to hear so many of these closed-minded, ”the Earth is 6000 years-old, “talking snake in the garden-believing”,“religi-fraud” types, in this country, who reflexively and, self-servingly, delude themselves into thinking that they’ll immediately get some kind of (WHOLLY-undue) social, moral or integrity-related “cache”, by merely blurting out the “line” that they are a “CONservative Christian” (in a tone that haughtily and self-righteously reeks of the implication that “and you’re not”). Riiiiiiiiggghhhht. To which we immediately to think to ourselves, YOU? A Christian? Really? Are you kidding me? Why, you party harder than I do! What the…? But then where are our manners? Ohhhhhhh, but wait a minute. It MUST be true simply because THEY SAID it was so. Now, come on people! Didn’t everyone get the memo. WHAT were WE thinking? Hopeless…. They’re just hopeless.
Yes, regardless of their true nature, habits, moral failings and, indeed, actions, these hucksters seem to think they can sell the notion of themselves as “Christian”, simply because they pronounce themselves to be. And, of course, you find these “disagreeable types” in every freaking state in the union, but nowhere are they more prevalent, than in the good-old, slavery-rationalizing, rebel/traitor-minded, inbred-laden, American “South”. Yes, the truth hurts, sometimes, doesn’t it? Again.. Riiiggghhhhtttt…..Hold it…. Wait a second…Listen……Does anyone hear that? Is that Banjo Music? OMG. Could it be the “a-raping” freaks from “Deliverance” OMG. Yikes!
(NOTE: Sorry for those last few lines, It must have been some kind of a PTSD-induced flashback or something …. Man, I have just GOT to quit drinking, boy, I tell you what. Whee doggies, Jethro. It is good to be da King.)
But anyway. What was I saying? Oh yeah. Ohhhhh and, these self-proclaimed, “Chreeestian” “intellectual backseat riders”, in the GOP’s, world-renowned and duly-mocked, “political clown car”, they just NEVER seem to clue into the FACT that hardly ANYONE, has EVER ( and I mean, EVER), bought into their utterly-self-serving, attention-whoring “stunts” of “psuedo-religiosity” (is that even a legitimate term?), but YET, these “Einsteins” simply continue to try and pull it out of their backsides, year after year -and often, to our collective detriment, in a crowded public space or, of course, at “the office”. Imagine that. I mean, it’s just “f-ing” hilarious. It really is! I kid you not!
And so, “there you have it, boys and girl”s, the modern era’s religi-fraud wing of the “RepugnantCON” Party. True pillars of virtue and carbon copies of Christ, himself, DESPITE the REALITY associated their interpersonal morals, their self-centeredness, their desire to live in a United State of “ME”, rather than “WE” (now THERE’s a Christian trait for you).
So, to be sure, for those who believe in being morally responsible and consistent, with regard to your treatment of your fellow man (both inside and outside the ballot box - if you get the drift), those who demand that we all live by ONLY ONE set of FACTS ( hello!), and, God forbid, those of us wwho actually believe in “science” and “reason” (yikes!), in ANY meaningful or consistent measure, well, you NEED not apply to ride in the GOP “Clown posse car” as you will simply be a “misfit”, and thus, unwelcome (Thank God!)
No, you’ve got to remember that THESE people not only boast about attaching themselves to GOP’s, morally-flexible and insane “Clown car” patrol/posse, but hey, they ride enthusiastically, in its intellectual “back seat”, as previously mentioned - and yet they unwittingly do so, for our endless delight and amusement. Yes, “only in America”! As Ricky Ricardo used to retort, “Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!
(NOTE: Now, for those who might be a bit confused, now, as to what the heck I just said, well (A) just “humor me” and realize that I’m, more than likely, a “fossil”, relative to yourself and old enough to actually remember the “I Love Lucy” show and (B) For crying out loud, quit whining and just look up the “freaking translation”, already! All right? Geez. Do I have to do everything for you guys? Really. Kids, these days. You’d think they grew up in one of those “s-hole” countries, for blank's sake! Whoa, whoa, whoa….. Ahhhhh. Dang it. For the love of God, I’ve fallen down, again, and I can’t get back up! Geez. Where’s that blasted “Life Alert” thing-a-ma-jig, when you need it?? Wilma! )
BUT ANYWAY, having hurled those opening “barbs” into the effigy of the proverbial, and aforementioned, “religi-fraud” crowd, let me just throw out a few more morsels of “truth”, as well, as yes, I have to assume that you are “politically astute enough to handle the truth”, as that noted “Christian Scientist/thespian”, and world-famous couch-abuser, Tom “don’t call me Ted” Cruise, once said:
As mentioned before, in the REAL political world of “today”, the words, “Christian” and “CONservative” are just completely “at odds” with each other. I mean, trying to combine or “marry” the word “Christian”, with the modern era's version of a GOP “CONservative”, is not only a ridiculous notion, but frankly, quite obscene, when you think of just HOW MUCH damage the GOP’s “so-called “Chreestian” CONservatives have done to America’s 99% demographic, in the last few decades - and, especially, to the highly vulnerable, working- poor and lower, middle-class citizens.
So, let’s break this down, just a bit.
On the one hand, these political and religious FRAUDS use the term, “Christian”, despite the FACT that their treatment of America’s poor and middle classes, BOTH inside AND outside the ballot box, is anything BUT “Christian”, or like Christ would treat them. In fact, to the day he DIED, Christ’s actions towards society’s downtrodden, its outcasts, financially less-fortunate, its children and all the rest of society’s most vulnerable were truly benign, compassionate and obviously exemplary, while the actions of the modern era’s, soulless, “CONservative” GOP, towards this same demographic, has been utterly disgraceful, contemptuous and the COMPLETE ANTITHESIS of that of Christ’s. And THIS is just a FACT, NOT merely an opinion, as evidenced in the duplicitous, anti-99% provisions in every legislative bill, the GOP has proposed on Capitol Hill. All one has to do it actually go to the web and read the actual language of the bill, follow the money, as they say, and you’ll quickly realize, that with EVERY bill, the “1% will always benefit at the expense of America’s “99%”. Again, “how Christian is that?
Yes, THE modern era’s GOP are the very “poor excuses for humanity”, who’d defiantly dismiss the pressing, critical needs of the working poor and middle-classes and, instead, take a “conservative” (which is code for, willfully “dragging one’s political feet”), in response to their fervent, political cries. Yet, for political-contrarianship reasons, as well as “real catalyst”, the avaricious financial agenda of the GOP’s “only true constituency” - the”anti-99%, robber barons” and their "reptilian" brethren, the largest trans-national corporations - the GOP has ALWAYS, yes, ALWAYS been reflexively servile and attentive to their EVERY legislative whim, no matter how “diabolical” or “non-egalitarian, in nature, it might be!
So, no, the actual, twisted REALITY associated with the modern era’s GOP CONservatives is that they NOW deify and reflexive worship “Mammon”, and no longer almighty God - despite their lies and rhetoric to the contrary. Hey, what clearly hasn’t quite registered with these home-grown, tax-payer-funded (WT*?), “legislative terrorists” to America’s poor and middle-classes, is that their legislation can be scrutinized BY the American public and ultimately EXPOSED for what it's LONG been - and that is of a brazen, unrepentant, soulless, toxic, black political flag-waving “Jack- a’s”, whose ONLY true, constituents, over the last few decades, have been the twisted, uber-selfish, tax-dodging, corporate welfare-loving, robber barons and huge, multinational companies. Indeed, these “legislative terrorists” to the America’s poor and middle-classes, without fail, attempt to attack, defund, destroy and/or “privatize” (for the robber barons’ undue gain) EVERY critically-important, government-administered program (be it Social Security, Medicare, medicaid, CHIP, or whatever) that has, historically, benefitted and, in some case, even saved the lives of, many within America’s “99%” demographic (especially within it’s lower economic rungs), via financial, medical, workplace, consumer or environmental-related assistance. Yes, the modern-era GOP, at every turn, boastfully FIGHTs and attempts to make America “Antebellum” again! It’s just sickening, inexcusable, diabolical, and just flat out, unacceptable! So, “no”, this is clearly NOT the GOP of your grandfather’s era, some 60 years back, but rather the “twisted Mr. Hyde”, or “Son of Sam” version of it.
In fact, what “Christian CONservative” is really “code” for, is the notion of these robber baron minions trying to, delusionally, rationalize (and, God help us, “Christianize”) their continual, diabolical and uber-selfish penchant to shamelessly “pull the economic ladder up”, and quickly out of the outstretched hand of America’s remaining 99% demographic, week in and week out. Yes, THAT’s their idea of being “CHRISTIAN” - and yes, by the way, for MANY in this same crowd, “human slavery” was also “quite all right” as hey - it was condoned and practiced by those morally-bankrupt cultures “of yore”, mentioned in “the bible”. Therefore “it must” also be something that Jesus would “be just fine with” and/or advocate for. Right? Riiiggght.
In fact, now wasn’t it Christ, himself, who made quite a statement, indeed, with his act of “throwing out” the temple-defiling, Mammon-worshipping, “money changers” - a group with a self-aggrandizing bent that ‘s nowhere near as egregious and depraved as that found in today’s oligarchs, Wall Street robber barons,etc.). FURTHERMORE, have these fraudulent, Christian CONservatives also conveniently forgotten that famous proverb Christ related to a crowd, and in so doing, made a larger point to society, in general? To wit: “For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” (Luke 18:25)”. Are you starting to get the picture now, CONservatives? Can you hear America now? Speak up, now. We didn’t hear you.
So, with THOSE “truths” having been conveyed, it unquestionably follows that every completely honest person in America would have to concede that, in TODAY”s world, Christ would, UNDOUBTEDLY espouse political concerns and views that are MUCH more in line with today’s “LIBERALS”, than the CLEAR “mammon-worshipping”,”screw-you-I’ve-got- mine”, uber-selfish and uber-insensitive, CONservatives of the GOP (aka “Greed-over-People”) - aka the party of “ME, ME, ME”, instead of “WE”, wouldn’t you say? Capiche?
In fact, here’s an idea. Wouldn’t it actually be “much more Christian”, if one were to describe themselves as BOTH a LIBERAL “and” a Conservative, politically-speaking, of course? Now, by that, I simply mean one would, INSTEAD, view themselves as “LIBERAL”, with regard to legislatively aiding America’s 99% ( ESPECIALLY, the poor and middle-classes~ you know, something CHRIST might do?), and YET, simultaneously,“CONSERVATIVE”, in their desire to aid the “top 1%”, and their morbidly rich ilk (aka the robber baron crowd, etc.)? Get it? Politically-speaking, wouldn’t THAT kind of “dual” political persuasion or self-description be “much more “in line” with” Christ’s TRUE teachings and messaging, while he was on this planet? In turn, wouldn’t such a “dual”, political “self-description/declaration and/or mindset, therefore, be a little more…I don’t know..say, “CHRISTIAN”? Bingo. And THAT’s the over-arching point here! So, again, in TODAY’s world, those describing themselves as “Christian Conservatives” are either politically clueless or outright religious and political FRAUDS. End of story. It’s just a cold, hard, sad FACT.
Now, with regard to the second and final term, above, “CONservative” (yes, I’ve purposely capitalized the first three letters of this word, throughout this piece), by that, do you possibly mean, being “extraordinarily reticent” to change or correct society’s ills and inequities, via federal legislation - even legislation that would actually serve to benefit, alter or even save the life of EVERYONE, and NOT just those within the “already-over-blessed” and “doing-quite-fine-already”, “robber baron” demographic?), exclusively, at the end of the day? Or, similarly, you’re, perhaps, referring to a person that’s “just fine” with a GOP/ CONservative legislator having a reflexive penchant, to shamelessly “drag their legislative heels”, when confronted with the anguish-tinged cries of their poor and middle-class constituents, but yet be there “in a flash”, legislatively, and “come through” for their “largest campaign donor’s” every political request and whim, no matter how trivial? Yeah? Well, that sure does sound like your modern-era GOP CONservative, now doesn’t it? Yes, they’re ALWAYS “CONservative” to legislatively aid the financially-desperate throngs of working poor and, “barely-above-water”, middle-class constituents, but then again, how LIBERAL they are, oddly enough,when it comes to reliably, and reflexively “answering that political door”, no matter the hour, for every last member of the largest, democracy-destroying, robber baron campaign donor, right? Why,of course!
Well, maybe that would be just OK if everything was ALREADY “just fine”, dandy and oh so egalitarian in nature, and JUST what God would have wanted for his creation - BUT STOP right there, as it’s CLEARLY NOT! So, with that said, HOW could ANYONE repugnantly begin to espouse that REMAINING “conservative” in America’s political agenda, in view of an absolutely DIRE economic divide and ever-increasing gap between the “have’s and have-nots”?! Oh sure, of course, if you’re a WHITE, multimillionaire or billionaire, and ALREADY living “high on the hog” and a “1%” lifestyle, relative to the rest of America - tens of millions of whom STILL DON’T even have or can afford basic “health insurance” as they make too much to qualify for Medicaid and too little to afford the “marketplace” (aka the “Grim Reaper’s”), one of the “favorite yet insidious words the GOP love to politically masturbate to.
Indeed, the GOP CONServative’s reliable, callous and now, openly-contemptuous indifference to the political plight of America’s 99% has reached new “depths”, as they merely lie and audaciously provide nothing but “lip service” to America’s “99%, and wink, nod and do their robber baron, puppet master’s soulless and obscenely avaricious and democracy-destroying, political bidding, at EVERY turn, WITHOUT fail and with NO apologies - EVER! So, indeed, describing today’s terroristic-minded GOP politicians, whose salaries are paid by their VICTIM’s taxes, no less (WT*?!) as nothing less than “reptilian”, is an understatement, to say the least!
But ah, it gets even worse, America. On top of what’s already been said so far, the GOP’s truly diabolical excuses for humanity ALSO want seek to hand over all of current social and “safety net” programs , of note, to their slithering, robber baron, puppeteers and Wall Street paymasters, as well, so that they can ultimately water them down, diminish their impact, effect and reach, and simultaneously, PROFIT, to an egregious and loathsome degree, from their “administration” - all to the detriment of those in the lower rung of the “99%” that so desperately count upon them, day in and day out. Now is THAT what you want America to be? For you? Your children? Your grandchildren? Is THAT an even remotely morally acceptable excuse for democracy and any semblance of an egalitarian mindset, in the “wealthiest” country, on the entire planet? Is it?
I mean, can you just imagine if YOUR future social security checks were relegated to the whim and cyclical nature of the “stock market”, rather than the historically-safest, financial vehicle on the planet, for the last several decades - US Treasury Bills, which the government has ostensibly, long-backed it’s Social Security obligations to retirees with? Privatize Social Security? Are you demented? And HOW, pray tell, short of being completely soulless, could you remotely look the typical American retiree in the eye, and tell them you’d rather make grandiose and delusional promises associated with using the reliably “cyclical” nature of the “stock market” instead of the earth’s safest investment, US T-bills, and potentially have said retiree, many having their Social Security being their ONLY source of income in their retirement years, to “trust you”, while you secretly find every conceivable way to increase the “fund management” fees (from the “zero” amount currently charged by the federal government to what, say the 17- 20 % range, as charged by your typically-crooked, Wall Street firm (oh, what a billion-dollar “windfall” for WALL STREET, at your expense) and possibly even “reducing” your actual Social Security check, in the future, shockingly enough (even in the ever increasing face of inflation), due to future “corporate cost-cutting”, fee increases, across the board cost-cutting initiatives, etc. to restore ‘necessary cost efficiencies”, etc, of course (wink, wink) - ALL so that Wall Street firm, now managing your Social Security funds, can maintain their “ungodly” and undue stream of profits (“blood money”), at the poor retiree’s expense! Why, one could easily even envision losing the ENTIRETY of your Social Security funds/account, given the stock markets periodic penchant to “crash”. And THEN where would that poor retiree be? In the street? No doubt! And would ANYONE in the GOP give a flying GD? NOT at all! NOT AT ALL, my friend!
So, to reiterate, WHOSE heinous idea is it ALWAYS, to try and recklessly “privatize” long-standing, and relatively-stable government programs such as Social Security and play the financial version of “Russian roulette” (no pun intended) with the typical poor and middle class retiree’s, critical social and/or safety net program funding? Why, of course, it’s ALWAYS been the soulless, anti-99% GOP!
And, in closing, does everyone remember the calamitous, “global” financial “crash” of 2007-08? Yeah? Well just THINK if ALL of your Social Security “nest egg”/funds, future payments, etc. Had been “privatized” at that time, as has long been Paul Lyin’ Ryan’s “wet dream” since college. And further imagine if it had also been wrapped up in a “bad”/risky Wall Street investment vehicle at that time, and you ended up LOSING EVERY BIT of your future Social Security income, in such a crash. THEN, WHERE would you be? Yes, don’t kid yourself, that whole time, the robber baron “fund managers” on Wall Street would have been watering down your ultimate benefits, increasing your management fees periodically (as they do), and thus increasingly lining their own pockets (at YOUR expense) and might just even LOSE your ENTIRE Social Security fund account, somewhere down the road, due to some “unforeseen market correction, so they’d predictably tell you. So, again, is THAT kind of risky, financially-irresponsible, horses**t GOP scenario “acceptable” to YOU, with regard to what’s ultimately the ONLY source of retirement income (sadly enough) that so many MILLIONS of American retirees will have, in the end? So is THAT darker, more dystopian, anti-99% version of America, what you really want, for "you and yours", henceforth? Really? Are you NOW beginning to see the utterly insidious and”anti-99%” nature, and lies, of the democracy-wrecking GOP’s CONTRACT “ON” AMERICA? As the commercial goes, "Can you hear me now", Mr. Retiree? Can you hear me now?
RESIST, AMERICA, RESIST and FIGHT the soulless, iniquitous nature of the modern era's GOP CONservative, as your very future just might ultimately depend upon it!