You’ve been told you have cancer. The C word finally came home to roost in your body. You rush to your doctor and insist on the strongest, baddest, most toxic chemo product on the market (made by Trump Care Pharmaceuticals). He says wait a minute—you head for Mexico. This will nip it in the bud. Right?
As it turns out, however, after they pull the chemo IV line out in Tijuana, you get a call from the lab. The sample was actually a benign growth that could simply be excised under local anesthesia. Instead of thinking that through, you shit yourself for good, since one permanent side effect of the Trump chemo is eternal diarrhea. Oops. And, to make things worse, you are now too weak from electrolyte losses to climb back over Don’s border fence. How’s your Spanish dummy?
So before you go any further, a little introspection might save you from your next *uck up.
Seven symptoms--You know that you are a blind Trump supporter if:
1. Between two unnecessary medical procedures you choose the frontal lobotomy over the enema.
2. You think it’s a good idea to burn your house down to rid it of fleas.
3. You think that misery is a midwestern state.
4. You reckon that grabbing pussy is ok, so long as its not your cousin’s (aka your wife).
5. You believe that Fox News is actually news.
6. When the Seven Eleven clerk says out loud that your daughter has a nice ass, and that he’d like to have some of it, you think “Why not, everyone else has.”
7. You believe that someone moved all of your cheese and replaced it with Velveeta.
If one of the above fits your point of view, you need help. Note: I am not taking new patients now and only deal with group therapy.