You’ve been told you have cancer. The C word finally came home to roost in your body. You rush to your doctor and insist on the strongest, baddest, most toxic chemo product on the market (made by Trump Care Pharmaceuticals). He says wait a minute—you head for Mexico. This will nip it in the bud. Right?

As it turns out, however, after they pull the chemo IV line out in Tijuana, you get a call from the lab. The sample was actually a benign growth that could simply be excised under local anesthesia. Instead of thinking that through, you shit yourself for good, since one permanent side effect of the Trump chemo is eternal diarrhea. Oops. And, to make things worse, you are now too weak from electrolyte losses to climb back over Don’s border fence. How’s your Spanish dummy?

So before you go any further, a little introspection might save you from your next *uck up.

Seven symptoms--You know that you are a blind Trump supporter if:

1. Between two unnecessary medical procedures you choose the frontal lobotomy over the enema.

2. You think it’s a good idea to burn your house down to rid it of fleas.

3. You think that misery is a midwestern state.

4. You reckon that grabbing pussy is ok, so long as its not your cousin’s (aka your wife).

5. You believe that Fox News is actually news.

6. When the Seven Eleven clerk says out loud that your daughter has a nice ass, and that he’d like to have some of it, you think “Why not, everyone else has.”

7. You believe that someone moved all of your cheese and replaced it with Velveeta.

If one of the above fits your point of view, you need help. Note: I am not taking new patients now and only deal with group therapy.

Comments

TomDorr's picture
TomDorr 2 years 35 weeks ago
#1

Phil : are you on Acid?

Simply getting a second opinion and being rational would have saved alot of grief and diarrhea.

You seem to be panicking over this last election. Don't support any irrational "cures".

Get a second opinion, from a rational moderate, convelesce, and realize the Sun will rise Tomorrow and for the next four years.

PhilfromOhio's picture
PhilfromOhio 2 years 35 weeks ago
#2

Ok, TomDorr, are you arguing that grabbing pussy should be acceptable. Do you have any female relatives. What do they think about your approval of your president elect and his gropy ways? I guess you are one of those guys who are into locker room talk. Must be a Brotherhood thing while you are driving the locomotives.

Coalage1 2 years 35 weeks ago
#3

Was it acceptable for Bill Clinton to take a cigar to Monica right outside the oval office?

PhilfromOhio's picture
PhilfromOhio 2 years 34 weeks ago
#4

Stoneage:

Have you heard the latest that the Repubs want to nix the Black Lung benfits for all our your black rock buddies. Good idea, since it is in reality a subsidy for the coal business (who should be paying these benefits in the first place) and just another one of your examples of private people sucking off the public teat.

Coalage1 2 years 34 weeks ago
#5

Actually, I could make an argument that every citizen of the US should help pay Black Lung benefits, including you.

You benefitted from their efforts in the form of cheap electricity, and coal for steel products. So pay up!!

PhilfromOhio's picture
PhilfromOhio 2 years 32 weeks ago
#6

Just another example of negative externalities. Industry makes a mess, makes its dough, and leaves the rest for us to clean up. Bad air, black lungs, toxic waste. Retrospective subsidies. Deferred socialism. Privatize the profits and socialize the costs. I say they should pay up front before they go broke and their executives parachute debt free into retirement and stick us with the bill. Good luck with your black lungs Stoneage. We are all praying for you.

Coalage1 2 years 32 weeks ago
#7

I don't have black lung, but thanks for the prayers anyway. Where's your check?

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