If money grew on trees, wouldn’t it be great? Then everyone would have money, right? Well, not exactly--here’s a more realistic scenario.

Laws would be passed regulating the growing of money trees. Only the government and certain rich people and large corporations who gave huge campaign donations would be allowed to grow money trees. The money tree seeds would be coins, which, when planted in rich enough soil, would grow into large trees which had paper money growing on their branches. Police would scour the countryside looking for any trees that were not legally grown, and destroy them. Anyone who was not authorized to grow money trees would be arrested and given a long prison sentence. Some people would try to illegally grow money trees in their basement, and new hybrids of money tree would be developed that would be small enough to fit indoors. A black market would develop which would give non-law-abiding citizens the cash they needed. The police would stop and frisk anyone they thought looked suspicious and search their pockets for illegal money, and they would be arrested and thrown in jail. There would be huge orchards surrounded by barbed wire and armed guards, and the orchards would be tended by migrant workers who were paid very poorly.

Genetically engineered money trees would produce larger yields of money. Since the money trees had a tendency to deplete the rich soil, the trees would need tons of fertilizer, which would be distilled from the sweat of underpaid and overworked laborers. Derivatives would be sprayed on the trees to keep silverfish away from the money growing on the trees.

Politicians would warn the citizens of the dangers of letting other countries grow their own money. Any country who tried to grow money without the oligarchy’s consent would be invaded, and their money trees would be sprayed with Agent Orange. Any land that had money trees growing on it would be confiscated to make the world “financially secure” and large military bases would be set up in every country to be sure that the money orchards were safe from marauding poor people. The Supreme Court would rule that since money is speech, anyone who wanted to practice “free speech” would have to pay heavy taxes. This would keep all those annoying poor people from voicing their opinions. Anyone who disagreed with the ruling that “money is speech” would be labeled a terrorist and killed by drones, and any foreign leaders who objected or tried to interfere would be assassinated by SWAT teams.

Of course, we know that none of this could really happen, because money doesn’t grow on trees—it’s printed on printing presses!

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IF MONEY GREW ON TREES

Comments

John Steinsvold's picture
John Steinsvold 3 years 40 weeks ago
#1

An Alternative to Capitalism (since we cannot legislate morality)

Several decades ago, Margaret Thatcher claimed: "There is no alternative". She was referring to capitalism. Today, this negative attitude still persists.

I would like to offer an alternative to capitalism for the American people to consider. Please click on the following link. It will take you to my essay titled: "Home of the Brave?" which was published in the OPEDNEWS:

http://www.opednews.com/articles/An-Alternative-to-Capitali-by-John-Steinsvold-130326-864.html John Steinsvold
“We have met the enemy and he is us.”Pogo quotation by Walt Kelly.

Rodger97321's picture
Rodger97321 3 years 40 weeks ago
#2

Well, TPP (if that is you real name) it's clear that you intend to perpetuate the myth (by bringing it up again) - under the guise of a detractor.

Even the old books tells us that Money doesn't grow on trees, Carbon Sequestration does.

Who can forget the wars fought over whether the evil of money was based on the paper, the inks, the machinery, the engravers, or the ones that brought all those components together to produce a fiat currency. (Which makes the absurdity all the more obvious since who in their right mind would buy into the validity of a currency based on a small Italian car? ).

And then after centuries of manufactured conflicts someone accidentally looked at the old texts for themself and discovered that it wasn't money that was the root of all evil, but rather the love of it which was being warned about (i.e. we should love people not things).

Anyway, the inside jokes and sleight-of-hand can be seen today with the "ink" crowd having supplanted Human Beings with the concept of Corporation. They rub our noses in it by including "Inc.") at the end of their firm names.

The "paper" crowd uses unnecessarily environmentally poisonous processes to convert trees into it. Ensuring that even more paper will be needed as each later needs to apply for medical care and medicines to deal with the resulting ailments.

The "machinery" folks named their device a "press" so as to be able to conflate reporting on the fraud with the fraud itself ensuring that the discussions will always be confusing and require further study (and reporting).

And equally obvious it that the very talk of "Engravers" cannot occur without "grave" embedded in it.

The seeds for "money is speech" were planted with "to coin a phrase". It just turns out that those particular seeds couldn't germinate until they were trickled down upon.

GraySeaPearl's picture
GraySeaPearl 3 years 40 weeks ago
#3

A quote from my childhood, "Do you think I have a money tree growing in the basement?"

chknltl9's picture
chknltl9 3 years 40 weeks ago
#4

"Money" does indeed grow on trees. It's called pot! Not only is it mostly green like money....... well.... I took your OP and had a little fun paraphrasing many of your points, modifying them only by changing money to pot or pot related items.

Laws were passed regulating pot's growth. Those laws were passed when it was realized how valuable it could be to do so for those who grew a different plant called cotton or for those who made ropes and cheap clothing from oil! (Never use a shirt made from oil to unscrew a warm light bulb!)

Police do scour the contryside looking for and destroying pot. Anyone unauthorised to grow it are at best fined and at worst given long prison terms. Back in the 1960s even having a few seeds on ones person could get one tossed in the clink!

Lots of folks grow it in their basements and there are tons of hybrids that got their start there. If one looks at the phenomenon of basement pot grow-ops Darwinistically, each basement is a self contained island with basement strains diversifying dramatically.

There is definately a black market surrounding pot which provides lots of money for non-law abiders. A decade ago I considered proposing a national day of protest where every grower took the day off from spending any money. IMHO that day's impact on our nation's economy would be telling indeed!

People do indeed love their pot, I would argue that this aint so bad in most cases but for some the love of pot is a bit over the top. Many pot growers lead solitary lives because kids and spouses tend to complicate things. For these types, they value their pot and their freedom to grow pot more than they value having a normal relationship. If you know an aging hippy who is still as awkward as a teenager around a pretty girl he may actually have something other than a skeleton in his closet and/or basement!

The police have quite the history of frisking folks and their vehicles looking for pot and any clever device used to smoke that pot. Cops can smell pot through a closed car window better than a police dog can! That might look like an inocent pop can sitting among the rubbish and litter that covers one's floorboards seat high but any cop worth his salt can proove that it had a more nefarious purpose at some point! Evidence even flimsier than this has gotten folks hauled out of their gas guzzelers in order to watch as a detailed search through their junk was performed while they sat uncomfortably on a nearby curb.

Migrant workers, (aka unemployed hippies from all around the US), have been known to tend large pot farms in California...not sure if they have barbed wire around them because leaving valuable scrap metal laying around where stoners are working is sorta silly.

Genetically engeneered pot plants? Have you ever walked into a well stocked Green Cross Shop in Colorado or Washington State? Sooooooo many strains! Any taste you like, any color you like, any kind of high you like and any type of growth needs you like. Screw the genetic engineering, someone needs to make a greener pipe lighter!

Regarding our nation's notions about letting other nations grow pot I have one word for you: Paraquat!

Good growers lets their pot speak for them and have been doing so long before the Supreme Court said money was speech.

So far, it is quite likely drones are being used to spy on pot farmers but I don't think those farmers have been 'admonished' for their efforts with a visit by a Hellfire missile! That said the recent militarisation of Law Enforcement may bring about a change here too.

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