My dog was killed by a pack of roving dogs, Dec 15th, 2012. My other dog was poisoned and I killed him just recently because he could no longer eat or drink, my wife was killed by yaz around christmas in 08. I have an inkling of what you are going through. I've had an o.b.e. and been saved by an angel that stood about 80 ft tall in front of a car that was going to kill me, you're bearing your soul for a refreshing change, so I'll bear mine. Your friend's life was for a reason, I don't believe anything, I just happen to know there is another dimension right here right now and your friend is there now and knows everything you have said, honoring his life, and the real secret is, you must do you best to do good and help others with the light you've been given, and nothing, absolutely nothing else really matters at all.