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The Twain Report All The News That Mark Twain Says He Would Report If He Was Alive Today 8-01-2013
Watching the 6 o'clock news tonight, the Twain Report was surprised to learn that cities all over America are hiring new workers, which fact was touted as proof that America's supposed financial downturn is over, and we are again in a "land of plenty" economy.
In related news, pigs were observed flying over all of the cities that have hired new workers. And as night fell over those cities, citizens flocked outside to see that the moon is, indeed, made of green cheese. Oh, and also, the check's in the mail, I'll be right back, and there's two others but I don't remember them.
Note to the NSA, CIA, FBI, Obama Administration, and all of the other agencies and corporations that spy on all Americans: This email is highly- even, like, totally- patriotic. Also, The Twain Report just wants to go on record as reminding each of you people who are spying on Americans, that the guy in the next cubicle has been spying on you, your wife, and your children, recording all of your entire extended family's phone conversations, text messages, and emails, and making detailed notes as to where your children go, who they talk to, and what they say. But I'm sure that no one in your family has anything to hide, so that couldn't possibly be a problem for you, could it? And anyway, you are just as patriotic as the guy in the next cubicle, aren't you? And besides, haven't you been spying on his family? Because if you haven't, you better start, because if at some point in time he decides to get some brownie points by turning in your family for what they're doing (I think you know what I'm talking about...), you are going to have to be able to blackmail him, aren't you? Protect yourself from him, he can't be trusted. Seriously.
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bajabob ~ Thank you so much for your political activism in the past. You are a true patriot. I salute you! However, in the future please stop! Put your Democratic campaign literature down on the table. Put down your clipboard, pen, and telephone. Step back away from the Democratic headquarters. Throw down you Democratic Party Membership card. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. In the future elections the only parties you will consider are the Independent, Green, Libertarian, and any other party that catches your fancy other than Democrat or Republican. Feel free to volunteer for the party of your choice other then the latter two. Most of all, God bless you! We need more thinking patriots like you!!
If Harry Ried doesnt change the fiilibuster rule and revert to the nuclear option to staff this court he should be replaced with someone who will. This congress.. both house and senate are ineffective. They shouldnt be paid for their lack of work on our behalf. The republicans have surpressed every and all ideas Obama has presented even those they have enthusiastically supported in the past. They should all be brought up on treason charges .. we the suckers that have elected them have lost homes , jobs, businesses, wealth, personal liberties. etc etc.while these idiots argue over women's issues. Fiddling while Rome burns comes to mind.. so so frustrating. Where are the JOBS John Boehner??? Harry grow a pair!! get it done .. help us change Washington! The clock is ticking... it makes all of us who worked for Obama to be relected angry for the time and effort and money spent only to be dashed by an ineffective Senate majority leader who believed the lying turtle Mc Connel.
Quote Flopot:There is zero difference between these two parties - Thom Hartmann is wasting his time focusing on such trivia.
Nonsense! There is plenty of differences! Here let me list them:
1. One groups name starts with a "D," the other with a "R".
2. One groups color is blue, the other is red.
3. One groups mascot is a "donkey", the other is an "elephant."
Oh, wait a minute, did I already mention the "D" and the "R"? I did, didn't I? Ok! That's the list! I hope it wasn't too long but that's everything I can think of. Can anyone else add to the list?
(By the way, Flopot, I love your Avatar. Distinguished and yet kinky)
until Democrats grow a pair and get rid of the filibuster they have seen the last dime out of me and I will no longer waste my time on phone banks and door-to-door canvasing for them. As often as they tell me I am wasting my vote supporting Green Party candidates they have yet to convince me I am NOT wasting my vote supporting Democrats who submit to Republican blackmail and extortion. I still make lots of phone calls, write letters and emails and send faxes but I am fast approaching the point where I will abandon my country and move South again. I lived happily in Latin America for 12 years and returned only to dedicate myself to electing Obama in '08. Venezuela and Bolivia are looking better and better every day-my VA disability goes a lot further down there anyway and I feel like my efforts to make a better world would be more fruitfully invested there.
(this is a duplicate post because of fears that the last post would not get seen/sorry)
thank you Thom you are truly a freedom fighter and I am continually surprised at the quality of your knowledge of history and the quality of your arguments in the face of ignorance or lairs, I am not sure, but any way I am posting to respond to a guy on 8-2-2013 called in and asked you to dedicate one hour a week to teaching activist tools and tactics, he basically asked about strengthening the grass roots progressive movement, I am apart of a group that is doing that and more if he would like to inquire please e-mail me at gavrielinmotion@hotmail.com, (Gabriel) or he could go to the schools web page www.newmessage.org (the new message community is a religious group, but my new message community action center group is multi-faith and some are non faith based focus, but all are progressive activist) I agree we must be bold.
I would love a price list of your books sent to my e-mail, any way thank you Thom you are truly a freedom fighter and I am continually surprised at the quality of your knowledge of history and the quality of your arguments in the face of ignorance or lairs, I am not sure, but any way I am posting to respond to a guy on 8-2-2013 called in and asked you to dedicate one hour a week to teaching activist tools and tactics, he basically asked about strengthening the grass roots progressive movement, I am apart of a group that is doing that and more if he would like to inquire please e-mail me at gavrielinmotion@hotmail.com, (Gabriel) or he could go to the schools web page www.newmessage.org (the new message community is a religious group, but my new message community action center group is multi-faith and some are non faith based focus, but all are progressive activist) I agree we must be bold.
I thought a "gentlemen's agreement" had to involve at least two gentlemen. Who now is really surprised that any agreement between these two posers isn't honored. "A man without his word is a cockroach!" (Tony Montana, "Scarface") This was an agreement between two professional cockroaches.
Quote Thom Hartmann:It's anyone's guess as to whether Senator Reid will live up to his threat and reform the filibuster this time, or if Republicans will be allowed to continue blocking Presidential appointments that have been held up for years.
Really?!? Let me guess! I say Senator Reid will not live up to his threat and reform the filibuster again, and Republicans will continue business as usual. What did I win?
There are no reasons to hate, only excuses. Besides, everyone knows that a 'gentleman's agreement' with a republican requires monetary exchange. I'm still just trying not to hate myself for bothering with any attempt to comprehend Washington these days, sheesh, I thought simplicity was the tried and true method yet what do we have here? Flavored Water? OH BOY! Oxymoron Time! YES! Soft Rock, Soft Porn, private contributions towards public office, personal politics, practical idealism, Citizens United, organized reli- oops, my good. Got carried away. But wouldn't I still be nearby if you had to carry me?
Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! helposti
I had a cat with kidney problems. We took him off of tap water at the vet's suggestion. "Nursery" grade water has enough minerals to be healthy but not overload the kidneys. It can greatly improve your cat
Cats are very vulnerable to a lot of chemicals. This is due to their evolution toward a virtually plantless diet. They've lost the ability to digest chemicals that appear only in plants, so those build up in the kidneys and cause illness.
But this also leaves cats vulnerable to man-made chemicals. Anti-freeze is famous, but the fire retardant in new carpet is also bad. It gets in their fur and they ingest it when they bathe.
On a side note, cats really like rolling around in dirt, and I wonder if it's for a bit of healthy geophagy.
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The Twain Report
All The News That Mark Twain Says He Would Report If He Was Alive Today
8-01-2013
Watching the 6 o'clock news tonight, the Twain Report was surprised to learn that cities all over America are hiring new workers, which fact was touted as proof that America's supposed financial downturn is over, and we are again in a "land of plenty" economy.
In related news, pigs were observed flying over all of the cities that have hired new workers. And as night fell over those cities, citizens flocked outside to see that the moon is, indeed, made of green cheese. Oh, and also, the check's in the mail, I'll be right back, and there's two others but I don't remember them.
Note to the NSA, CIA, FBI, Obama Administration, and all of the other agencies and corporations that spy on all Americans: This email is highly- even, like, totally- patriotic. Also, The Twain Report just wants to go on record as reminding each of you people who are spying on Americans, that the guy in the next cubicle has been spying on you, your wife, and your children, recording all of your entire extended family's phone conversations, text messages, and emails, and making detailed notes as to where your children go, who they talk to, and what they say. But I'm sure that no one in your family has anything to hide, so that couldn't possibly be a problem for you, could it? And anyway, you are just as patriotic as the guy in the next cubicle, aren't you? And besides, haven't you been spying on his family? Because if you haven't, you better start, because if at some point in time he decides to get some brownie points by turning in your family for what they're doing (I think you know what I'm talking about...), you are going to have to be able to blackmail him, aren't you? Protect yourself from him, he can't be trusted. Seriously.
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Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid should be reminded of President George W. Bush with his “Fool Me Once” bumble… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A
bajabob ~ Thank you so much for your political activism in the past. You are a true patriot. I salute you! However, in the future please stop! Put your Democratic campaign literature down on the table. Put down your clipboard, pen, and telephone. Step back away from the Democratic headquarters. Throw down you Democratic Party Membership card. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. In the future elections the only parties you will consider are the Independent, Green, Libertarian, and any other party that catches your fancy other than Democrat or Republican. Feel free to volunteer for the party of your choice other then the latter two. Most of all, God bless you! We need more thinking patriots like you!!
If Harry Ried doesnt change the fiilibuster rule and revert to the nuclear option to staff this court he should be replaced with someone who will. This congress.. both house and senate are ineffective. They shouldnt be paid for their lack of work on our behalf. The republicans have surpressed every and all ideas Obama has presented even those they have enthusiastically supported in the past. They should all be brought up on treason charges .. we the suckers that have elected them have lost homes , jobs, businesses, wealth, personal liberties. etc etc.while these idiots argue over women's issues. Fiddling while Rome burns comes to mind.. so so frustrating. Where are the JOBS John Boehner??? Harry grow a pair!! get it done .. help us change Washington! The clock is ticking... it makes all of us who worked for Obama to be relected angry for the time and effort and money spent only to be dashed by an ineffective Senate majority leader who believed the lying turtle Mc Connel.
Nonsense! There is plenty of differences! Here let me list them:
1. One groups name starts with a "D," the other with a "R".
2. One groups color is blue, the other is red.
3. One groups mascot is a "donkey", the other is an "elephant."
Oh, wait a minute, did I already mention the "D" and the "R"? I did, didn't I? Ok! That's the list! I hope it wasn't too long but that's everything I can think of. Can anyone else add to the list?
(By the way, Flopot, I love your Avatar. Distinguished and yet kinky)
until Democrats grow a pair and get rid of the filibuster they have seen the last dime out of me and I will no longer waste my time on phone banks and door-to-door canvasing for them. As often as they tell me I am wasting my vote supporting Green Party candidates they have yet to convince me I am NOT wasting my vote supporting Democrats who submit to Republican blackmail and extortion. I still make lots of phone calls, write letters and emails and send faxes but I am fast approaching the point where I will abandon my country and move South again. I lived happily in Latin America for 12 years and returned only to dedicate myself to electing Obama in '08. Venezuela and Bolivia are looking better and better every day-my VA disability goes a lot further down there anyway and I feel like my efforts to make a better world would be more fruitfully invested there.
There is zero difference between these two parties - Thom Hartmann is wasting his time focusing on such trivia.
(this is a duplicate post because of fears that the last post would not get seen/sorry)
thank you Thom you are truly a freedom fighter and I am continually surprised at the quality of your knowledge of history and the quality of your arguments in the face of ignorance or lairs, I am not sure, but any way I am posting to respond to a guy on 8-2-2013 called in and asked you to dedicate one hour a week to teaching activist tools and tactics, he basically asked about strengthening the grass roots progressive movement, I am apart of a group that is doing that and more if he would like to inquire please e-mail me at gavrielinmotion@hotmail.com, (Gabriel) or he could go to the schools web page www.newmessage.org (the new message community is a religious group, but my new message community action center group is multi-faith and some are non faith based focus, but all are progressive activist) I agree we must be bold.
I would love a price list of your books sent to my e-mail, any way thank you Thom you are truly a freedom fighter and I am continually surprised at the quality of your knowledge of history and the quality of your arguments in the face of ignorance or lairs, I am not sure, but any way I am posting to respond to a guy on 8-2-2013 called in and asked you to dedicate one hour a week to teaching activist tools and tactics, he basically asked about strengthening the grass roots progressive movement, I am apart of a group that is doing that and more if he would like to inquire please e-mail me at gavrielinmotion@hotmail.com, (Gabriel) or he could go to the schools web page www.newmessage.org (the new message community is a religious group, but my new message community action center group is multi-faith and some are non faith based focus, but all are progressive activist) I agree we must be bold.
I thought a "gentlemen's agreement" had to involve at least two gentlemen. Who now is really surprised that any agreement between these two posers isn't honored. "A man without his word is a cockroach!" (Tony Montana, "Scarface") This was an agreement between two professional cockroaches.
Really?!? Let me guess! I say Senator Reid will not live up to his threat and reform the filibuster again, and Republicans will continue business as usual. What did I win?
There are no reasons to hate, only excuses. Besides, everyone knows that a 'gentleman's agreement' with a republican requires monetary exchange. I'm still just trying not to hate myself for bothering with any attempt to comprehend Washington these days, sheesh, I thought simplicity was the tried and true method yet what do we have here? Flavored Water? OH BOY! Oxymoron Time! YES! Soft Rock, Soft Porn, private contributions towards public office, personal politics, practical idealism, Citizens United, organized reli- oops, my good. Got carried away. But wouldn't I still be nearby if you had to carry me?
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Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! helposti
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I had a cat with kidney problems. We took him off of tap water at the vet's suggestion. "Nursery" grade water has enough minerals to be healthy but not overload the kidneys. It can greatly improve your cat
s comfort.
Cats are very vulnerable to a lot of chemicals. This is due to their evolution toward a virtually plantless diet. They've lost the ability to digest chemicals that appear only in plants, so those build up in the kidneys and cause illness.
But this also leaves cats vulnerable to man-made chemicals. Anti-freeze is famous, but the fire retardant in new carpet is also bad. It gets in their fur and they ingest it when they bathe.
On a side note, cats really like rolling around in dirt, and I wonder if it's for a bit of healthy geophagy.
Wishing the best for Higgins.